


Sunrise

by katesofheaven



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Poe Dameron, Bottom! Poe, Christmas, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Smut, Finn owns a cafe, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Making Love, Meant purely to calm and soothe, Mention/implication of suicide (minor character), Mutual Pining, New Years, Norah Jones Sunrise, POV Poe Dameron, Playlist, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Slow Burn, Top! Finn, coffee shop AU, cozy holiday vibes, just some good ol love making, just some good ol' vibes, poe plays guitar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:41:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 37,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25836655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katesofheaven/pseuds/katesofheaven
Summary: “Do you want this for here?”“Yes, please,” Poe said, but quickly remembered he was supposed to go to a lunch meeting in a few minutes. He considered for a moment. Watched Finn pull out a quaint, cream-colored coffee mug.He could reschedule.
Relationships: Poe Dameron & Finn, Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 124
Kudos: 151





	1. throwing it all away for Norah

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. This is a super chill little project. If you enjoy what I've written so far, let me know if you want me to continue! Comments are immensely appreciated.
> 
> [I made a playlist on spotify](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5EpHxqTnT8T7XvCbnseSIw?si=GOf8bUoCQ5uf16HF5cV3Hg) to accompany this story. This is the music I imagine would play in the cafe. It's very chill. Good study music as well, I think.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this so far.

Poe ducked out of the cold and shook himself off, cursing himself for forgetting a rain jacket. The cheap blazer he wore clung to his skin and a chill churned through him. He opened his bag and heaved a sigh of relief. His computer was dry. He ran a hand through his damp hair and flicked water at the ground. Then he peeled off his jacket, hung it gingerly on his forearm, and loosened his tie, taking a look around.

The cafe was small, almost stuffy, with small lamps scattered around the blonde wood tables, casting a warm light over the place. The walls were each a different color: plum purple, brick red, banana yellow, creamy chartreuse. The chairs looked old but cozy. Used but clean. There weren’t many people, so there wasn’t much noise. A soft, pleasant song was drifting from the speakers. The rain thrummed on the roof.

How had he never been in here before?

“Next.”

He blinked. He stepped up to the counter, skimming the menu quickly.

“Um, what do you recommend?”

He looked at the barista. Well, _stared_ is a better word.

Kind eyes. Soft, full lips. Warm, brown skin. His thick hair was in short twists. He wore a mustard yellow sweater under a purple apron, and a polite smile.

“What do you usually order?” He asked. His voice was smooth. Poe smiled at the sound of it.

“I usually just get a black coffee.”

“Well, we have fresh black coffee,” the barista began. “We also have lattes, flat whites, long blacks, espresso macchiatos; if you’re feeling adventurous, we have an herbal chai latte— I really love that one. With oat milk.”

Poe’s mouth hung slightly open.

“Sorry, lots of info at once,” the barista smiled. “But if you want a recommendation, I’d go with the chai.”

Poe looked at the barista before nodding. “Let’s do it.”

“Chai?”

Poe nodded again. “I’ll have a medium, please.”

“Did you wanna go with oat milk?”

He’d never tried oat milk. It sounded weird. “Sure, I’ll try oat milk.”

He glanced at the barista’s nametag. _Finn._

Finn smiled and wrote the order on the cup. “What’s your name?”

“Poe,” he replied, taking out his wallet and rifling through his cash.

“That’ll be $4.25, Poe,” Finn said.

The way he said his name made Poe’s heart flutter. He handed over the cash and put an extra five dollars in the tip jar.

“Wow, thank you!” Finn grinned, then he stepped away from the register and started making the previous customer’s drink.

Poe hovered, shifting from one foot to the other.

“You can find a seat if you want, Poe,” Finn said with a smile.

“Oh. Thanks,” Poe smiled, but he stayed where he was. “Are you the only one working today?”

Finn nodded as he poured the steamed milk, turning his wrist slightly to make a leaf design in the foam. Poe watched him, mesmerised. “Just me. I haven’t been able to hire any employees just yet.”

Poe raised his eyebrows. “You’re the owner?”

“Yep,” Finn said, nodding again. “I opened up about a month ago.”

“How has it been going?”

“Y’know what? Better than expected. I’ve already got quite a few regulars,” he said. He slid the cup into a sleeve and slid it across the counter to the other customer. “Here ya go, Bonnie.” He started on Poe’s drink, hands working deftly. “I’ve been working on this idea forever, though. I make all the flavor syrups and pastries myself.”

“That must take forever,” Poe said.

“Yep, I wake up early. About three in the morning most days.”

Poe stared. “I don’t think I’ve woken up that early in my entire life.”

Finn chuckled. “Do you want this for here?”

“Yes, please,” Poe said, but quickly remembered he was supposed to go to a lunch meeting in a few minutes. He considered for a moment. Watched Finn pull out a quaint, cream-colored coffee mug.

He could reschedule.

Finn finished his drink and slid it to him in its saucer. “Here ya go, Poe. I hope you enjoy. Lemme know if you want the coffee instead.”

Poe smiled and took the mug. “Thank you. This looks great.”

He met Finn’s eyes for a moment and thought about just staying right where he was, drinking his chai standing up and watching Finn work, but he figured that would be weird. So he turned away and found a place to sit.

The chair he found was padded, comfy, and private. The back curved around and blocked the sides from view, so it was just Poe and his computer. Finally, when he’d settled, he took a careful sip of his drink.

It warmed him up right away. He couldn’t tell what was in it, but it was sweet and spicy and perfect. And the oat milk was a great complement. Maybe this would be his new drink.

Maybe this would be his new cafe.

***

Poe shuffled down the street, peering at the shop signs with a frown. He shielded his eyes from the intense sunset. He didn’t even remember what the cafe was called. How stupid could he be? He’d never find it again. He was such a moron.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. He ignored it.

His gaze fell on a bright, happy sign with the same colors as Finn’s cafe walls. This had to be it.

Sunrise Cafe.

Relief filled up in his gut and he jogged across the street, grinding to a halt as a car sped past in front of him, missing him narrowly and honking the horn.

He pushed open the door and heard a clear, light jingle, a sound he hadn’t noticed the other day. It was so pleasant. Why was everything about this place so perfect?

There were quite a few more people than there had been the other day, and Poe was all too happy to wait. If this meant Finn stayed in business, he didn’t mind one bit. The music coming from the speakers was soft. Soft and gentle.

Finn was wearing a grey cardigan today; the sleeves were baggy with cinched wrists and Finn had bunched them up around his elbows, so Poe could admire his forearms. He moved behind the counter so quickly and gracefully that it almost looked like he was dancing. Poe found himself breathing out a sigh, breathing out all the anxiety he’d built up that day.

When it was his turn, he hurried up to the counter and smiled. Finn looked like he was trying to place him.

“You got the chai the other day, right?”

“Yeah, it was perfect. I loved it.”

“I’m glad,” Finn smiled back. “You want another one today?”

“Yes, please.”

Finn wrote the order on the cup, then he paused. He looked back up at Poe with his eyes narrowed. Poe stared back.

“Was it… Poe?”

He nodded. “Yep.” He glanced at the nametag again. “And you’re Finn?”

Finn smiled. “That’s me.”

“Nice to meet you, Finn.”

Finn chuckled. “You too, Poe,” he said, a curious look in his eye. “That’ll be $4.25.”

Poe had almost forgotten that he had to pay. He scrambled for his wallet and gave Finn the cash, putting another five dollars in the tip jar. Finn thanked him again.

The chair he’d used the other day was occupied, so he found a small table by the window, facing toward the street. He sipped his drink and watched the pedestrians go by, letting the soft music of the cafe fill his senses.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. His chest tightened.

He took it out. The lock screen was filled with emails from his boss, each of them more mundane than the last. There was one text message from someone he didn’t want to talk to. He put the phone back in his pocket.

He brought out his computer and started working, pausing every few minutes to stare wistfully out the window again. Slowly, the rest of the customers filtered out of the cafe and Poe was eventually left alone. Outside, a dusky twilight had descended on the street.

“Hey, Poe? I’m starting to close up,” Finn said, a damp rag in his hand.

“Oh, Jesus, sorry,” Poe said, hurrying to put his laptop in his bag. “I didn’t notice the time.”

“No problem,” Finn said, starting to wipe down one of the tables. He paused. Glanced at Poe. “I mean, you can keep working if you want. You’re not disturbing anything.”

Poe slowed. “Oh. Um, thanks,” he said, making no move to take his laptop back out. Finn nodded and continued wiping down the tables. Poe watched him. He held out his hand for Poe’s mug and Poe gave it to him.

“Do you need any help?” Poe asked.

Finn looked at him and laughed. “Nah, no, I’m fine. Thank you, though,” he said.

“Are you sure? Because I have nothing to do. It wouldn’t be an issue. You don’t have to pay me or anything.”

Finn knit his eyebrows, searching Poe’s face. “You don’t— it’s fine, really.”

Poe nodded. His phone buzzed again and he rolled his eyes, taking it out and checking the screen. He sighed and put it back.

Finn was looking at him. “Avoiding someone?” Poe met his eyes and he faltered. “Sorry. I— that’s none of my business. Sorry.” He carried on wiping tables.

“No, it’s— it’s just my boss,” Poe said, resting his jaw in his palm. “He never shuts up. But he also never _says_ anything. Y’know what I mean?”

“I know exactly what you mean,” Finn grimaced. “My old boss was just like that.” Finn flipped a chair upside down and slid it onto a table. “What do you do?”

Poe sighed. “I’m an accountant. For a car dealership.” He looked like he’d smelled something rotten.

“Which one?”

“Snoke’s.”

Finn grinned. “‘Snoke’s Subaru Toyotaaa, we’ll find the car for youuu,’” he sang. Poe cringed at the sound of the jingle.

“That’s the one,” he said.

“‘Zero money down!’” Finn continued, and Poe laughed.

“Ugh, god. Yep. You got it.”

Finn’s smile faded. “Huh,” he said, flipping another chair.

Poe looked at him. “What?”

“I wouldn’t have pegged you as an accountant.”

Poe smiled. “What would you have pegged me as?”

Finn tilted his head and looked him up and down. “I dunno. Pilot, maybe? Or a musician.”

“What kind of musician?”

“Like, guitar of some kind. I’m not sure. You have guitar hands.”

Poe blushed. “I do, uh, play the guitar, actually. A little.”

Finn grinned. “You’ve got those fingertips. The calluses.”

Poe looked down at his hands. Finn grabbed the dish tray from the counter and paused. “I gotta go in the back, if you wanna talk still,” he said, suddenly shy.

“Am I allowed back there?”

Finn laughed. “I’m not sure, I’ll ask the owner.”

Poe chuckled and followed Finn in the back, which was far less charming than the cafe itself. The walls were plain white and there were dozens of boxes stacked on shelves. An industrial dishwasher sat in the corner.

“So, how do you like Snoke’s?”

Poe pursed his lips. “It’s okay. Good insurance.”

Finn smiled at him and started rinsing dishes. “You can be honest.”

Poe let out a sigh. “It’s fucking terrible.” Finn started to laugh. Poe cracked a smile. “It’s hell. It’s the worst job I’ve ever had.”

“Why did you start working there?”

He shrugged. “I’d just graduated and I was in a shitload of debt. It was the only place that would hire me.”

“Ever thought about quitting?”

“Every day of my life,” Poe replied. “I don’t know what else I would do, though. I went to school for accounting because of my parents. I’d have to get some other degree and start a whole new career.”

Finn nodded sagely. “I joined the Army right out of high school so I could get free school. It was not worth it.”

“I wouldn’t have pegged you as a soldier,” Poe mused.

Finn shook his head. “I know. I wouldn’t either. But, yeah, I was infantry.”

His tone made it seem like he didn’t want to go into detail, so Poe thought of something else to ask.

“Where did you go to school?” he said, leaning against a shelf.

Finn shrugged. “I didn’t,” he replied simply. “I got out about a year ago and I served food and saved up so I could start this place.” He blinked, remembering something, and walked out of the room, returning a few seconds later with a basket of food. “You want a muffin? Otherwise I donate them.”

Poe reached for one. “Did you make these?”

“Yep. It’s my grandma’s recipe. Top secret.”

Poe took a bite and his eyes fluttered closed of their own accord. “Holy shit.”

“I know,” Finn smiled. “She was a genius.”

He took another bite. “What made you want to start a cafe?” he asked thickly.

Finn loaded the dishwasher and pressed the button. Then he straightened up, hands on hips, and thought for a moment. “It was always something I’d thought about, I guess. I just did a bunch of other things first, but it was always in the back of my mind.” He cracked a smile. Poe did the same; it was contagious.

“What?” Poe asked.

“You know that song ‘Sunrise’ by Norah Jones?”

“I think so, what about it?”

Finn grinned. “I fuckin’ love that song. And my grandma always said that if I listened to it too much I would throw it all away and open a stupid cafe. And I could always, like… see the cafe in my head. The one I wanted to open. So— flash forward to my deployment, there was a Norah Jones CD on base some other guy had left. And it had ‘Sunrise’ on it. And I listened to it nonstop.”

Poe watched as Finn began another load of dishes, a small smile on his face that really hadn’t left since they’d started talking. “Would you say you listened to it _too much?”_

Finn nodded, laughing. “I decided I would throw it all away for Norah. And here we are,” he said wistfully, gesturing around them.

“Well, I’m glad you did,” Poe said. “This is the best cafe I’ve ever been to.”

Finn looked at him and smiled. “Thank you.” It was quiet for a while as Finn put away the dishes. Then he cleared his throat. “What kind of music do you play?”

“Oh, Jesus,” Poe said with a frown. “Uh, I dunno. Folk music, I guess. I mostly just use it to relax.”

“I’ve been thinking of starting an open mic on Fridays,” Finn started, glancing in Poe’s direction. “Would you be interested?”

Poe stared. “No— uh, no. I’m not that great.”

“How long have you been playing?” Finn met his eyes. Poe blushed again.

“I started when I was twelve,” he said, and Finn gave him a gentle smile.

“I bet you’re really good. But there’s no pressure; even if you don’t perform, you should still come.”

Poe felt warm. “Yeah, maybe. Yeah.”

He followed Finn behind the front counter, where Finn took out the cash drawer and began to count the money. Poe kept quiet so as not to distract him, but Finn started talking anyway.

“I, uh, noticed you walked here,” he said, and Poe nodded. “Do you want a ride home?”

“Oh,” Poe said. “No, I’m good. You don’t have to do that.”

“I saw you almost get hit by that car,” Finn replied with a knowing look. “I can give you a ride.”

“You saw that?”

Finn nodded and chuckled.

Poe felt warm again. He knew he should probably be polite and refuse the ride. But he had a feeling. It was hard to describe, but he had a feeling that if he accepted the ride, his life would change.

And he wanted his life to change very badly.

“Sure,” he said, shrugging. “Why not.”


	2. the blazer: part one

Poe rubbed his eyes and let out a sigh. The screen was blurring in front of him. He checked his watch; he hadn’t gone to the bathroom in nearly thirty minutes. It was time to head back in.

In his misery, he’d gotten very skilled at wasting time. He found that he could tool around in the bathroom for a good ten minutes before anyone would notice and yell at him, so he made it a point to retreat there about twice an hour. Most of the time, he would just sit on the toilet lid with his head in his hands. Very rarely did he go to the bathroom at work for bathroom-related purposes.

When he came back out of the bathroom, his friend Ben was eyeing him from his desk, feet resting on the fake wood. Poe adjusted his tie, which always had a lopsided knot, and met his eyes. Ben lowered his legs and cracked his neck.

“Thought you fell in.”

Poe rolled his eyes and sat down, focusing on his computer again, failing miserably. Finally, after a minute, he gave up and rested his forehead on his desk. He heard a chuckle from Ben and looked up.

“Dude, you could at least pretend to work.”

“I’ve been doing that all day. I’m exhausted.”

“You’re exhausted from not doing any work.”

“Yes.”

Ben cracked a smile. “Then go home,” he reasoned. “Armitage doesn’t understand accounting—”

“Neither do you—”

“Just talk about quarterly reports or something and say you’re done for the day.”

Poe hesitated. “You think I can actually do that?”

“Do whatever the fuck you want, man, it’s not like you want this job anyway.”

“But if I got fired, how would you survive?” Poe grinned.

Ben rolled his eyes. “I’d find a way to move on. Somehow.” He turned back to his computer. “Get outta here, I sold a hatchback today and I have to file shit.” Ben glanced up as Poe shrugged on his blazer. “Yeah, don’t forget your Armani,” he droned.

Poe scoffed and flipped him off.

***

Poe pushed open the door and excitement flickered through his chest at the sound of the bell. There appeared to be a lull in business, and he was the only one there. He couldn’t help the small smile that graced his features at the smell of the place; spice and fresh bread and toasted nuts and coffee. That’s how Finn’s car smelled, too.

Finn came through the swinging door that led to the back room, wiping his hands with a paper towel. When he looked up, he smiled at the sight of Poe. Poe’s stomach fluttered.

“How’s it goin’, Poe?” Finn greeted as Poe approached the counter. “You look happy.”

A faint blush settled on his cheeks. “Do I?”

“Yeah, did you have a good day?”

“Um… yeah, it was fine,” he said vaguely. “You?”

“It’s been insane today. You just missed the rush,” Finn said.

“Really? That’s lucky,” Poe chirped. At the tone of his own voice, he paused. He hadn’t sounded that happy in a long time. “Maybe I should try something new today,” he blurted. Finn grinned and glanced back at the menu.

“How crazy are we feeling?”

“Let’s go wild, Finn.”

He thought he saw a slight blush in Finn’s cheeks. It made his own cheeks darken.

“Aight. Let’s see here. Do you want caffeine?”

“I love caffeine. That chai gets me all jittery.”

Finn paused. Quirked his lips. “That’s an herbal chai, Poe,” he ventured.

Poe looked nonplussed. Finn chuckled.

“There’s no caffeine in the chai.”

Poe slowly started to laugh. “For real?”

Finn nodded, amused. “None.”

“Must be something else that makes me jittery, then,” Poe said, then flushed at his words. Finn smiled at him.

“You sure you want the caffeine, then?”

“Fuck it, let’s do it.”

Finn laughed again. Poe liked making him laugh. “Okay. Maple cardamom latte with oat milk.”

“What’s card-carda— what’s that.”

“It’s a sort of sweet spice. A little floral, I guess. Maybe a little minty? It’s got a really distinct flavor. I use whole pods in my simple syrup.”

Poe nodded along. “Sure. Yep. Do it. Go for it.”

Finn nodded with him. “Nice. Aight. Cool.”

Poe watched him put the drink together. Finn hummed a quiet, tuneless song to himself as he worked.

“Change your mind about open mic?” Finn tried, and Poe’s heart gave an extra hard _thump_ at the thought.

“Nah. I’m not big on performing.”

Finn frowned. “Really? You seem like you’d be an amazing performer.”

“Thanks,” Poe replied awkwardly. “Um, is it still happening tomorrow night? I could still go, just to watch.”

Finn looked relieved at the offer. “I’d love it if you came. I’m so nervous no one’s gonna show up.” He poured the steamed milk into Poe’s mug and twisted his wrist, making a leaf in the foam. He slid it to Poe.

“How do you do that?”

“Oh, Christ, I dunno. It’s the only design I can do. I’m not very good.”

Poe looked at him. “You’re great. Very talented. Don’t sell yourself short.”

Finn gave him an odd look. Poe took a tentative sip of the latte. “Fuuuck. Dude, that’s so good.”

“Yeah?” Finn beamed.

“Yeah. Holy shit, man.” Poe patted the counter. “Best cafe. Best cafe in the world.”

Finn’s eyes twinkled. “That’s so nice when you say that. Like— really, Poe. I appreciate it.”

Poe looked at him for a moment before giving a dismissive wave of his hand. “Don’t mention it, bud.” There was a beat as they looked at each other. “I’ll let you get back to work. I don’t wanna keep you,” Poe said, then turned to sit in his cozy chair from the other day. He probably imagined it, but Finn looked disappointed at his words.

Once he’d sat down, the last thing he wanted to do was work, so he decided to just close his eyes, listen to the music, and savor the taste of his drink.

That was new. He hadn’t savored anything in a while. He usually ordered a black coffee and chugged the whole thing before he could taste it. This was a much better way to do things. He took a deep breath; his lungs felt clear. Open. Easy. That was new, too.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. His heart dropped. _“Fuck,”_ he whispered.

He pulled it out. It was her. He swore to himself again; he’d seen the text. He hadn’t meant to read it, but it was short. His eyes had read it without his permission.

_Hey, haven’t talked to you in a while. How are you?_

He rolled his eyes. He should probably just ignore it. He shouldn’t even respond. Fuck it. Fuck her.

His thumbs were already typing a response.

_Yeah, you have. I just haven’t replied._

He moved to silence his phone but she’d already texted back.

_I miss you, can we talk?_

His eyes stung. His lungs felt clogged again.

She texted again.

_Tomorrow after work? Maz’s?_

There was no fucking way he was seeing her again. Fuck it. Fuck her.

He replied quickly. His eyes widened at his answer as he sent it.

_Fine._

“Just put a load of dishes in,” Finn said, approaching from behind his chair.

Poe jumped. Finn started to smile but it faded when he noticed the look on Poe’s face.

“Are… you okay, Poe?”

Poe nodded quickly. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m gonna get going, I think.” He started to gather up his things.

“Are you sure? I mean, I know we don’t know each other that well, but if you wanna talk—”

“No, Finn, really, I’m fine,” Poe insisted, pulling on his blazer.

“I can put your drink in a to-go cup,” Finn tried, but Poe shook his head.

“I’m— sorry, Finn, it was amazing, I just— I should go home. I’m just tired.”

“Sure, of course,” Finn said. “I’ll see you tomorrow night, right?”

Poe faltered. “Uh, maybe. I dunno.” He made to leave but Finn grabbed his wrist. He stopped, stared at Finn’s hand. Then he met Finn’s gaze, intense and close to his face.

“Poe, are you sure you’re okay? You’re not gonna do something stupid? You’re not gonna hurt yourself?”

“No— what? No,” Poe said, knitting his eyebrows. “I’m— it’s stupid, Finn. I just got a text from my ex and it just threw me off. But I’m fine. Truly, I’m okay.”

Finn let go of his wrist. “Okay. Sorry, I just— I get worried. I just— like, I know a lot of guys who— I wasn’t trying to be nosy.”

“Don’t worry about it, dude,” he said as he tried to flatten his blazer collar, to no avail. “I, uh, I’m gonna get going, though.”

Finn nodded. “Yeah. Sorry. I’ll see you later, then.”

***

He walked into the bar, trying to buckle the cuff of his sleeve. The scent of stale beer met his nose and his shoes stuck to the floor with each step. He grimaced and looked around.

She was sitting in the corner at their old table. Her chestnut brown hair was in loose curls, cut in a bob. She hadn’t noticed him yet. He made his way over to her.

_Okay. In and out. You still need to get to Sunrise. Finn wants you there._

When he was about ten feet away, she finally saw him. Her fingers drifted across the cold sweat on her water cup, making drips race down the glass. She smiled at him. He hated it, but he felt a little leap in his heart at the sight.

He sat down across from her. A full glass of water already sat in front of him.

“I ordered one for you,” she said.

He nodded. Said nothing. He didn’t owe her anything.

“How have you been?” she asked.

“I’ve been fine. Same as always.”

A sad look crossed her features. “Are you still working at Snoke’s?”

“Yeah.”

She let out a tiny sigh. Almost imperceptible, but he noticed. “What.”

She shook her head. “It’s just… you always hated that place.”

He rolled his eyes. “What do you want, Rey?”

“Nothing,” she said quietly. “I don’t want anything. I just wanted to catch up.”

“Well, you’re caught up. Nothing new.”

She nodded, swirling the ice in her water. Her mouth was turned down in that frown he’d always hated. He should just get up now and leave. That would show her.

He stared. He sighed. He cleared his throat. “How have you been?”

She glanced at him. “I really miss you.”

He pursed his lips. “You changed your hair.”

“Do you like it?”

He didn’t answer. He didn’t know what else to say.

Her eyes drifted down. “You still have that blazer?”

“It’s a good blazer.”

She began to laugh but stopped herself. “It’s— you got it from Target, Poe. I remember watching you try it on.”

“Yeah, and wow, that was so long ago, we have so much history, Rey, we should get back together, right?”

She fell silent.

“I know this is a shitty blazer. I know. You don’t have to bring it up all the fucking time.”

“You just…” She sighed. “Never mind.”

He looked at her. “What? I just what?”

She met his eyes steadily. “You could do so much better than what you’re doing.”

The look on his face was withering. “So you’ve been texting me— fucking _nonstop_ — for months, and I finally meet with you, and you say the exact same shit that broke us up?”

“Poe, you’re smart and funny and you’re so _kind_ — I love you, Poe, I really do. You can literally accomplish anything. It just makes me sad.”

“Well,” he said, straightening his collar, “I’m very sorry that I make you sad. I’m sorry I disappoint you so much, Rey.”

“I thought maybe you would quit Snoke’s. Make a change.”

“Fuck, Rey. Jesus Christ. Stop it.”

She threw up her hands. “I’m sorry, Poe! I just— I don’t know what to do. I want you to be happy.”

“And you think this is the way to do that? Making me feel like shit all the time? Making me miserable?”

_“I_ make you miserable?” She almost laughed. “Poe, you were miserable _way_ before I showed up.”

Poe was quiet for a long time. Rey stared at him, eyes wide, any trace of a smile gone.

He stood up. “Welp, good talk. I think it’s pretty obvious we can’t do this. I’m gonna go.”

“I… I’m sorry, Poe.”

He frowned. “I’ll see you around, Rey.”

She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

He was already gone.

***

When he went into the cafe, the open mic had already started. A modest crowd had gathered, huddling at the tables with steaming drinks in their hands and watching the performance. A small basket was being passed around the audience, filled with a small pile of dollar bills. There was no stage, but there were two young guys in a corner, each with a guitar, harmonizing with their vocals. They were actually pretty good. The second guy’s A string was sharp.

Poe’s eyes roamed the room and fell on Finn, busy making drinks behind the counter.

He made his way through the crowd, apologizing quietly to the people he knocked into, until he came up to the counter. He stood quietly, not wanting to disrupt the performance; Finn glanced up and beamed when he saw Poe. Poe instinctually beamed back. All of the muck in his blood disappeared. He felt lighter suddenly.

Maybe this day wasn’t so bad after all.

When the song ended, the audience applauded.

“I didn’t think you were gonna come,” Finn said loudly over the noise. “I’m sorry if I acted weird yesterday.”

Poe shook his head, a giddy smile still on his face. “It’s okay, dude! I’m sorry I worried you.”

“Did you work things out? With your ex?”

Poe snorted. “No. Absolutely not.”

“Oh,” Finn said, an oddly satisfied look on his face. “That’s too bad.”

“It’s for the best,” Poe said. “She doesn’t like my blazer, so we obviously don’t belong together.”

Something passed over Finn’s face. “She—” He cleared his throat. “She’s an idiot, man. That blazer is dapper as hell.”

“I agree. Do you see that seam down the side? See how it’s coming undone?” Poe raised his left arm to show him. Finn nodded. “That’s actually a very chic, artistic choice. Very bold. Not a lot of designers have the guts to do something like that.”

“I noticed that right away,” Finn said sagely. “That seam is how I knew you were a tastemaker. A mover _and_ a shaker.”

“I am all of those things, thank you for noticing,” Poe said. He glanced at the corner, where a new performer was setting up. A middle-aged woman with a xylophone.

“You want anything to drink?” Finn asked him.

“I’ll try the maple cardigan latte from last night again.”

Finn grinned. “One maple cardigan. Comin’ right up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like this so far! Leave a comment if ya did and let me know what you think.


	3. the blazer: part two

“Have a good night, folks,” Finn called as the last group of customers left the cafe. They gave him a wave as they went through the door, then Finn flipped the sign to _Closed_ and clicked the lock.

When he turned around, Poe was hovering near the counter. Finn smiled. “How was your day?”

Poe shrugged. “It got a lot better once I got here.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

Poe frowned and shook his head. “Can you teach me how to make a latte?”

Finn looked at him for a moment before making his way behind the counter, waving for Poe to follow him. “Okay. So. Take the milk pitcher.”

Poe pointed to it questioningly. Finn smiled and nodded. Poe picked it up.

“Okay. Now, grab the oat milk.”

Poe opened the fridge and pointed to the carton. He raised his eyebrows. Finn nodded again. Poe took it out.

“Pour the milk… yep… okay, that’s enough. Now, this thing is the steam wand. Put it in the milk, but don’t let it touch the bottom. It’ll make big bubbles if you do and we want small bubbles. Good. Now pull the lever and pull the pitcher down until the wand is on the surface of the milk and makes a paper-ripping sound for a couple of seconds. Mhmm. Now set it down. Take a mug—” Finn handed him a clean one— “And pump three shots of maple cardigan. Perfect."

Poe smiled.

"Now you’re gonna grind the beans— nope, like this— yeah. Distribute the grounds with your finger and make it even, then grab the tamper— that thing to the left— line it up, nice and straight, and press down. Nice! Okay, now slide it in the— you got it, good. Press that button. Yep. Okay, now wait… until the shot glass is full… now stop. Good. Pour the shot into the syrup. Now take the pitcher—”

“Hold on, I wanna watch you do it.”

“The milk?”

“Yeah, the leafy design. I like it when you do it.”

Finn blushed as Poe handed him the pitcher. As he poured the milk, he could see Poe watch him out of the corner of his eye. He gave a final flourish of the pitcher and Poe grinned.

“Fuck, dude, that’s amazing.”

Finn chuckled and handed Poe the mug; their fingers brushed. Poe took a sip and when he came back up his lip was coated in foam. He licked it away. Finn swallowed.

“I should start closing up.”

“I’ll help.”

“Poe, really, it’s fine—”

Poe was already grabbing the dish tray and bussing the tables. He turned to Finn. “Where’s the rag?”

Finn bent down and got a rag from the bucket, wringing it out and tossing it to Poe. He caught it deftly and started wiping tables.

“How did you like the open mic?”

“I thought it was great!” Poe chirped. “It was like a basket house from the sixties.”

“That’s what I was going for,” Finn grinned, beginning to clean the espresso machine. “Do you think I should make it weekly? Or just once a month?”

“That’s up to you, bud,” Poe said. “But I don’t see a downside to making it weekly. It seems to bring in a lot of business.”

“I think you’re right,” Finn mused.

“What if you did a board game night? Or a quiz night? Those would be fun, too. I could organize them if you don’t have time.”

Finn smiled. “I’ve been thinking about that! I love pub quizzes.”

“What would you make it about?”

Finn considered. “I dunno. I don’t like when there’s one subject and one fuckin’ mega nerd comes in and dominates the whole time. I’d want it to be more equal. Like a mixed bag.”

“Man, y’know what? I hate fuckin’ mega nerds,” Poe laughed. Finn laughed with him.

When it died down, Finn looked at him seriously. “Okay. Poe. This question is not for the purpose of getting you to play at open mic night.”

Poe looked at him apprehensively.

“But have you ever performed before?” Finn asked. “You just— I dunno, man, you seem like you have.”

“Why does it seem like that?” Poe asked, bringing his tray in the back. Finn followed him with an armful of dirty pitchers. Poe pushed up the sleeves of his blazer and started to rinse them off.

“You just have this confidence about you. I dunno.”

Poe stopped rinsing the dishes. When he looked at Finn, there was a mournful light in his eyes. “You think so?”

Finn knit his eyebrows. “Yeah. I do.”

Poe shook his head. “I feel like I used to be. I haven’t felt like that since…” He blinked. Paused. “Jesus, man, I’m treating you like my therapist or something. I’m sorry.”

“Since before your ex?”

Poe rubbed his nose. “No. I don’t know. She’s a good person. She just believes in me too much, I think.” He started the dishes again.

“What do you mean?”

He sighed. “Do you have anyone like that? Like, they’re so sure you can be better than you are? And they’re just always disappointed in you?” One of his sleeves slid down and dipped into the water; he grimaced at the wetness.

Finn frowned. “No,” he said honestly. “I don’t think I do.”

“Well, she’s like that. She always wanted me to switch majors, and then she wanted me to quit the dealership.”

“Why didn’t you?”

Poe looked at him. “I don’t know. I always felt like I couldn’t do anything else.”

“You make a mean latte,” Finn offered. Poe let out a chuckle, but the smile quickly vanished.

“And she was always—” He sighed. “She was always talking about how I could do anything in the world, and it was overwhelming.”

“Overwhelming?”

Poe nodded. “Yeah. ‘Anything’ is like— it’s a big word, y’know? There are so many things to do, and I never had any idea what I wanted, so I just stayed in place. And I think that annoyed her.”

Finn nodded slowly. “Do you think you didn’t know what you wanted? Or maybe you did, and you were just scared?”

Poe slid a load of dishes into the washer and hesitated over the buttons.

“It’s this one,” Finn said, walking over and pointing to the correct button. Poe pressed it.

Finn waited for his answer.

“Um. I dunno,” he finally shrugged. “I always loved guitar. But there’s no point.”

“Why do you say that?”

Poe thought for a moment. “It’s not a career. It’s not gonna make me any money. ”

Finn took out the dishes and Poe put in the next load. “Well, I wouldn’t say that. I know you don’t like performing—” Something passed over Poe’s face as he watched him— “But people teach lessons all the time. You could make a living from it if you wanted. Actually, I’ve wanted to learn to play guitar for a long time.”

Finn smiled as Poe searched him with his eyebrows knit. “You want... lessons?”

“I’d love for you to teach me. And I bet a lot of other people would, too.”

A look of quiet pride settled on Poe’s features, but was replaced almost immediately with sadness. “I can’t,” he said. “I’m too busy with work.”

Finn smiled gently. “That’s okay. No pressure. And also, Poe, just because something won’t make you any money, that doesn’t mean it’s pointless.”

***

“Poe, I’d like to see you in my office.”

Poe glanced at Ben, who looked back with raised eyebrows. He reluctantly pressed pause on his music (Finn’s Norah Jones CD), stood up, and shrugged on his blazer, trying and failing once again to adjust the collar.

He followed Armitage into a sad, plain little room with one tiny, darkened window. The blinds were perpetually pulled down because Armitage was a rat person who belonged in the sewer.

But that was just Poe’s opinion.

Armitage sat down in his swivel chair, a relic from the Nixon administration, and spun slowly around to face Poe. Poe took the seat across from him, a low, rickety wooden chair with uneven legs that never sat flat on the ground. The rumor around the dealership was that Armitage had shoddily sawed off the ends of the chair legs himself to make it lower to the ground.

Poe looked up at Armitage from his child-size chair and waited for him to speak. It was silent for a few minutes. He was certain that Armitage had gotten all of his management skills from Dwight Schrute.

Finally, Armitage spoke. “Your collar is crooked.”

“I know.”

“Do you know why I’ve brought you in here today?”

Poe shrugged. “I hope it’s not for fashion advice.”

Armitage smiled cooly. “Your quarterly reports were incorrect. You forgot to include three accounts.”

“Oh. I’ll add them.”

“This is not the first time you’ve neglected to do your work effectively.”

Poe’s heart thudded in his chest. “I know. I’m sorry, Armitage, I’ll do better in the future.”

“This is also not the first time I’ve talked to you about this issue, Poe.”

Poe sighed. He looked down at his hands, neatly folded in his lap. “I know.”

“This is your last warning. If you neglect your work again, we’ll have to let you go.”

Poe nodded, lips pursed. “Is that everything?”

Armitage leaned back in his chair; something snapped inside it and his eyes widened slightly before he recovered his cool expression. “Yes, that’s all, Poe. You may leave.”

Poe reached up and grabbed Armitage’s desk to pull himself out of the lowered chair; as he stood up, he heard a pronounced rip in the shoulder of his blazer. He paused and shrugged it off. Armitage smirked at his desk.

Poe stared at the ripped seam. He could sew it, no problem. He’d sewn about a hundred rips in that blazer before. It was cheap. It wasn’t made to last.

It wasn’t made to last.

So why did he still have it?

Poe stood in the dark, plain, sad, soulless office and stared at his blazer unblinkingly. Armitage was looking at him. Saying something in that drawling voice that Poe couldn’t stand.

Finally, he looked at his boss. “Armitage, I have to quit.”

He blinked. “What? What are you talking about?”

“I quit. I have to quit. I can’t work here anymore.”

Armitage laughed coldly. “You’re serious?”

Poe nodded. “I’m serious. I’m gonna go pack up my desk.”

Armitage’s face turned a concerning shade of red. He stood up suddenly. Poe looked at him calmly. “You— how dare— I just— you think you can just— in _my—”_ He huffed. His eyes bugged out of his head.

Poe made his way through the door. A smile flickered across his lips. He left Armitage sputtering in the darkened office.

Ben’s eyes followed him as he walked to his desk.

“You get fired?”

Poe shook his head. He started to laugh. “I quit.” The lightness in his chest was euphoric. The weight was gone. It had been there so long, he hadn’t even noticed it.

A tear escaped down his cheek. He wiped it away and paused; then he walked to the garbage can and stuffed his blazer into it. Began to empty his desk.

There was almost nothing in it.

“Where are you gonna go?” Ben asked, standing up, hands in his pockets.

Poe beamed. “I don’t know. I think I’m gonna get a cup of coffee.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this is pleasant to read. I would really appreciate your feedback! I love reading comments; they absolutely make my day.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	4. the coffee bean pin

When Poe walked through the door, his cheeks hurt from smiling. Finn was taking another customer’s order, and when he spotted Poe, he broke into a grin himself.

Poe was almost bouncing on his feet as he walked to the counter. “Hi.”

“Hey, Poe,” Finn said, and Poe’s heart leapt again at the sound of his name on Finn’s lips. “How’s it going?”

“Are you hiring?”

Finn knit his eyebrows, an amused light in his eye. “You looking for a job?”

Poe nodded, an aching grin on his face. “I was thinking— you said I make a mean latte, so I was thinking maybe I could work here. And do lessons on the side. And I’d teach you for free,” he added quickly. “And you wouldn’t have to wake up so early. I could help out with the prep work and the baking— I’m a quick learner. I can— I don’t have my resume, but I can print it out for you.”

Poe ran out of breath and waited for Finn’s reply, his heart suddenly pounding. It occurred to him that if Finn said no, he would be heartbroken. He would be lost.

Finn’s eyes were wide. “You actually want to work here?”

“Yes,” he rushed. “I do. It’s… um, it’s okay if you’re not hiring, or you can’t afford to yet or something, I just— this is the first place I thought of, it makes me happy to be here and I feel like I should do something that makes me happy.”

Finn looked at him strangely. Almost lovingly. “I do too.”

Poe’s smile flickered back to life. “So, um, are you hiring?”

“When can you start?”

***

Moonlight drifted through the leaves and dappled the sidewalk; Poe’s cheeks were pink from the cold. His hands were huddled in his pockets, and when he got to the darkened cafe, he sat down on the curb, nuzzling his nose into his scarf.

It was a few minutes before Finn pulled up, headlights making him see spots. Poe stood up quickly and bounced on his toes, feeling his cheeks warm up as the pink turned to red. “Morning,” he said as Finn stepped out of his car.

Finn buried his face in his sleeve as he yawned, then nodded. “You’re early,” he said. He reached into his passenger seat and pulled out a bundled up apron, handing it to Poe sleepily.

Poe took it and admired its deep purple color, already sporting a wide smile. “I was excited.”

Finn squinted at his keychain and attempted to unlock the door, but had trouble aiming for the keyhole. He yawned again and fit the key in.

A quiet beeping sound greeted them when they entered, and Finn hurried to the alarm system, pressing a few buttons to disarm it.

Poe shuffled from one foot to the other as Finn retreated to the back room; the overhead music started playing and he returned with a bag of espresso beans. “Gotta get the machine ready first,” he explained. His voice was lower than usual, thick with sleep.

“Why?” Poe asked, hurrying to Finn’s side to watch him prepare.

“Tired,” he said, yawning again for good measure.

Poe chuckled as Finn filled the espresso hopper and turned on the machine. “Gotta wait for it to warm up,” Finn mumbled. “Time to start the muffins.”

Poe followed Finn around, pointing to things and asking questions; Finn answered them all patiently and thoroughly. Over time, and especially after Finn had had his caffeine (a double shot of ristretto with cinnamon), he grew more enthusiastic and energetic, making jokes and telling stories about annoying customers.

“Am I doing this right?” Poe asked, frowning at the saucepans of simple syrup in front of him. Finn looked over his shoulder.

“This one’s about to caramelize, so you can take it off,” Finn said, and Poe quickly poured the contents into a waiting container.

They finished preparing forty-five minutes early, so Finn started teaching him how to operate the register, and the basics of the espresso machine.

The entire time, Poe couldn’t keep the smile off his face.

At six, Finn unlocked the door, and a few minutes later, their first customer walked in.

They didn’t have much time to talk; when there were customers, Poe did his best on the register while Finn was a whirlwind, making drinks, making conversation with customers, answering Poe’s questions. It was amazing to watch. When there weren’t customers, Finn was training him.

“This is a lot of information, and you’re doing really well, Poe,” Finn said, watching him steam the milk. Poe beamed.

“I’ve got a great teacher,” he replied, and Finn rolled his eyes and smiled.

“Sucking up to the boss ain’t gonna get you anywhere, bud.”

***

Poe sat in a wooden chair in the corner of his bedroom, humming to himself as he experimented with different chords, pausing every once in a while to write down the notes on a wrinkled piece of paper on the stand in front of him. He looked the sheet over, absently stroking the stubble that he’d neglected to shave.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out and smiled.

_I’m sorry to do this, but it’s fuckin swamped right now. Any way you could come in? Ok if not._

He texted a reply immediately and got dressed, pausing in the mirror on his way out. He frowned and ran a hand through his hair, overdue to be washed. He grabbed a random baseball cap from his closet and stuffed it on his head, then hurried out the door.

***

Finn’s eyes widened when he walked in. “Dameron! God bless.”

Poe grinned, weaving through the crowd of waiting customers. “How’s it goin’, boss?”

Finn gave him a look; it was pretty obvious how things were going.

He went into the back and hung up his coat, fitting his apron over his cap and tying it in the front. Then he nearly skipped back to Finn and took his place on the front register.

“Lisa! How’s it going? How’s the hospital?” Poe beamed, and the customer facing him, an older woman in scrubs, smiled warmly back.

“Hi, Poe! It’s going great. I’m just about to head in,” she replied. “Twelve hour shift.”

“Oh, boy,” Poe commiserated. “Extra shot in the americano today?”

“That’s probably a good idea,” she sighed.

He nodded and pressed a few buttons. “That’ll be $4.50.”

She gave him her card and stuffed a dollar into the tip jar.

“We really appreciate that, Lisa, thank you,” Poe smiled, and Lisa gave him a wink as she moved away to wait for her drink. He heard a chuckle behind him from Finn.

“Hi, Poe,” the next customer, a twelve-year-old boy in a baggy zip-up hoodie, squeaked. His mother hovered behind him.

“Hey, Zach, you been practicing?”

The boy nodded. “I almost got the barre chord down. It’s really hard.”

“Nice! Good job, buddy. Those took me forever.”

“Really?”

“Really,” Poe confirmed. “Can I get you guys anything?”

“I’ll have an iced coffee with cream,” Zach’s mom said, and Poe nodded, putting the order into the register.

“Zach attack, what would you like, kiddo?” Poe asked, and the boy’s smile grew.

“Can I have a hot chocolate?” he asked, half talking to Poe and half to his mother. Poe waited for confirmation, and when Zach’s mother nodded, he took down the order.

“That’s gonna be $7 even,” Poe said, and Zach’s mother handed the money to Zach, who handed it to Poe. Poe gave the change to Zach, who passed it to his mom.

When the crowd had finally dispersed, Finn purged the steam wand and turned to him, his eyes drifting from his hat to his shoes. Poe felt himself blush under Finn’s gaze.

“I like the hat,” Finn said. Poe knit his eyebrows and took it off to see what Finn was looking at; he chuckled.

The baseball cap was embroidered with Olmec, the mascot from _Legends of the Hidden Temple_ on Nickelodeon. “I didn’t even notice which hat I put on, dude, I’m sorry if it looks unprofessional,” Poe said, and Finn dismissed him with a wave of his hand.

“Thanks for coming in so quickly. What were you up to on your day off?”

Poe smiled. “I was just messing around on my guitar,” he said. “Writing down a couple things.”

Finn grinned. “You were writing a song?”

“No,” Poe said quickly. “Nah. I was just playing. Just fuckin’ around.”

Finn looked at him knowingly. “Okay,” he conceded. “But I’d love to hear it.”

Poe’s heart skipped. “Yeah, maybe.” He grabbed a rag and began to wipe down dirty tables. “You better be practicing, though, otherwise you’re not gonna hear a thing,” he threatened, brandishing the towel. Finn smiled.

“Yessir. I’m gonna have to cancel tonight’s lesson, though.”

Poe straightened. “You’re shirking your education, young man?”

Finn chuckled. “Yeah, I, uh, I have a date,” he said quietly. “Tonight was the only night he was available.”

“Oh,” Poe managed, his breath coming up short. He recovered quickly and smiled. “In bed by nine, y’hear? I’ve only been here a month and this place’ll burn down without you.”

“Oh!” Finn hurried into the back room. Poe’s forced smile immediately vanished as he waited, and returned when Finn came back, holding something small in his hand. He approached Poe and held it out. “It’s for your one month anniversary,” he ventured.

Poe took it and stared.

“It’s— it’s a little coffee bean pin,” Finn explained quickly. “You can pin it to your apron.”

“Finn, that’s—” Poe swallowed. His throat felt tight. He met Finn’s eyes. “This is— thank you. Working here has been— I really appreciate— you’re the—” He gave up. Huffed. Wiped his eyes. Pinned the bean to his apron.

Finn smiled gently. He rested his hand on Poe’s shoulder and it made Poe’s nerves sing. “Don’t mention it, bud.”

“I can, um— if you wanna leave early to get ready, I can close.”

Finn seemed to search him for a moment before nodding. “I’ll leave around five. Is that okay?”

“That’s great,” Poe said quietly. He cleared his throat. “Yeah. Sounds good.”

***

“Okay, you should be pretty good,” Finn said, hovering at the door. “I did a few loads of dishes and mopped the cafe, so you don’t have to—”

“Finn, I’m fine,” Poe said with a smile. “You can go.”

“Okay. Yeah. If you have any questions—”

“Finn. Buddy.”

“Yeah. I know. But if you need anything— okay, fine! I’ll see ya tomorrow.”

“Good luck! Be safe!”

Finn chuckled and flipped him off as he went through the door. Poe returned the gesture with a grin.

The bell jingled as the door closed, and Poe was left alone in the still cafe, with only the music to keep him company. His face slipped into a frown and he retreated to the back to wash some more dishes.

Who was Finn seeing? Was it a first date? Was it a seventh? Finn had never told him about anybody, but Poe was also technically his employee. Maybe Finn thought it would be unprofessional to talk about personal things like that. Whoever it was, Poe’s stomach turned at the thought of him. Was it serious? Did this person get to fall asleep next to Finn at night, wake up next to him in the morning? Had he heard Finn’s adorable sleepy voice?

The bell on the door rang. Poe wiped his hands and walked out to the register, head bowed in thought. When he looked at the customer, he stilled.

“Rey?” He was too surprised to put any venom in his voice.

She blinked, looking up from her phone. Her hair was half-up and she wore a red peacoat and a blue scarf. “Poe? What are you…” She spotted his apron and knit her eyebrows. “Do you work here?”

“Yeah, I— yeah,” he mustered. “Um— can I get you something?”

She stared for a few seconds, then nodded. “Um… just a mocha, please.”

“Decaf,” he added. She smiled.

“You remember?”

Poe shrugged, the tiniest trace of a smile on his lips. She took out her credit card and he hesitated. “You’re good, you don’t need to… to pay. I got it.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Are you sure?”

He nodded, taking the milk out of the fridge and starting to make her drink. She slid her card back into her wallet and watched him.

“How long have you worked here?”

“A month,” he answered, measuring scoops of mocha into the cup.

“I’ve been meaning to come here, it seems really nice.”

“I love it,” he replied with a smile.

She searched him. “You seem really happy.”

“I am,” he nodded. “I’ve started giving lessons again, too.”

“No way,” she grinned, and he nodded again. “Are you writing?”

He shrugged again. Her grin widened.

“That’s— wow, Poe. I’m really happy for you. Truly,” she said. He felt his cheeks darken as he handed her the mocha. There was a beat as their eyes met.

“So— how have you been?” he asked as she took a sip of her drink. 

“This is incredible,” she murmured. Then she blinked. “I’ve been really well,” she answered. He didn’t know what to do with his hands, so he picked up a rag and started washing the already-clean tables. “One of the galleries in town started selling my stuff.” She kept her tone neutral, but Poe knew her well enough to know when she was excited.

He straightened. Stared. “Are you serious?”

She couldn’t keep the excitement hidden anymore; her face broke into a gleaming smile. The brightness of it made him smile himself.

“Rey, that’s— that’s—” he sputtered, giving her a hug. “That’s amazing. I’m proud of you.”

She hugged him tightly back and they lingered like that for a second before he quickly let her go and went back to the tables. She tucked her hair behind her ears and took another sip of her drink.

“How’s that stupid cat?” he asked, and Rey rolled her eyes. He chuckled.

“Threepio is good,” she said, glancing at him. “He misses you.”

He cleared his throat. “I, uh, miss him too.” He wiped his nose roughly with his sleeve.

“Maybe you could come visit him,” Rey said, a slight tint in her cheeks. “Y’know, sometime.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Poe said, scratching at his stubble. “Maybe.”

A quiet smile graced her features. “Well, I— I should get going,” she said. “Thank you for the mocha. It’s…” She met his gaze. “It’s really nice to see you like this. I’m really happy that you’re happy.”

“Yeah,” Poe nodded. “Same. I’m happy for you, Rey.”

She nodded, then flinched at the sound of someone coming through the door, then laughed at her own reaction with a blush. Poe smiled to himself as she hurried outside, then turned to the next customer.

“How’s it goin’, Andy?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! I hope you're enjoying this so far. Chime off in the comments! I love comments.


	5. thrown right at me

Poe waited on the curb as usual, arms bundled around himself. He buried his face into his scarf and was tempted to just take a nap in the bitter cold, but thought better of it. He pulled out his phone and checked the time.

Finn was late.

His date must have gone well.

Poe stood up, brushed himself off, and slid his key in the lock, sighing as the warmth of the cafe enveloped him. He turned off the alarm and turned on the music, then readied the espresso machine with a yawn.

The muffins were almost done baking by the time Finn showed up, eyes wide, already ripping off his coat and gloves as he walked in the door.

Poe glanced up from the syrups. “Morning,” he said. “The espresso is ready to go if you want some.”

Finn let out a breath. “I’m so sorry, dude, thank you for doing this, I— I overslept.”

Poe smiled. “Don’t worry about it.”

He stirred the syrups as Finn went out to get a drink, and when Finn returned, it was quiet for a few moments.

“How’d the date go?”

Finn swallowed. “It— yeah, it went pretty good.”

Poe poured one of the syrups into a container. “That’s great, man, you deserve to relax a little.”

He felt Finn’s eyes on him as he poured another syrup; a drop of it spilled onto his hand and he hissed.

Finn hurried over and took the pan out of his hand. “I got this, you can go rinse that off.”

Poe nodded and went to the sink. “So, who was this date? What’s his name?” he asked, keeping his tone casual as he rinsed the burn.

There was a beat before Finn answered. “His name’s Nick. Um, he’s just this guy I knew in the Army.”

“You guys were in the Army together?” Poe asked; he couldn’t help the jealousy stirring in his chest.

Finn nodded. “Yeah, we were in the same unit when we were deployed.”

“You never really talk about the Army,” Poe observed, drying his hands.

“No,” Finn said simply. “Can you attach the pumps to these?”

Poe hesitated for a moment, then started helping Finn with the syrups. “How long were you deployed?”

“I’d rather not talk about it,” Finn said, keeping his tone light. The oven started beeping. “Can you get the muffins?”

Poe took them out and put them on the rack to cool. Finn had his back turned to him and Poe stared at him for a few seconds. “Well, I’m here if you do,” he tried. “I always feel like I can talk about stuff with you, I hope you see me the same way.”

Finn made no indication that he’d heard him. Poe washed some dishes, and it was silent for so long that he assumed the conversation was over.

He almost jumped when Finn started talking again. “I, uh, see you that way too,” he said. “But it’s not the same.”

Poe frowned. “What’s not the same?”

Finn shook his head slightly. “War,” he said quietly. “War’s not the same as working at a car dealership.” He glanced at Poe. “I’m sorry. I know that sounds shitty. I don’t mean to make you feel bad. But it’s just different. You could never understand unless you were there.”

Poe nodded slowly. “That’s… yeah, that’s fine, man, don’t worry about it.” 

“I’m really sorry, Poe.”

Poe waved a hand. “But Nick, he gets it.”

Finn looked at him. “Yeah.”

“How long have you been going out?”

“Not that long,” Finn shrugged. “Last night was our third date. But we’ve known each other for a long time.”

“Well, that’s cool, man, I’m glad you can talk to him about that stuff. Really,” Poe said. He meant it. He hoped Finn could tell that he meant it.

Finn nodded. “Thanks. I, uh, don’t know why I didn’t tell you about him sooner. I felt kinda weird about it.”

“Because you’re my boss?” Poe guessed.

Finn blinked. Paused. “Yeah. I guess so.” He checked his watch. “I should start the tea.” He walked over to the boxes of iced tea and grabbed a few bags. “Oh— how did closing go last night?”

Poe blushed. “It went fine, no problems.”

Finn tilted his head. “Why do you look like that?”

“Like what?” Poe asked, eyes wide.

“You look like you’re lying. Or embarrassed. Or something.”

Poe sighed. “Um, Rey came in last night.”

Finn looked nonplussed.

“My ex.”

“Ohhh,” Finn cooed. “You’ve never told me her name before. How did that go?”

Poe frowned. “Really well, actually. We didn’t fight at all. She said I looked really happy.”

Finn smiled. “You do, man, you’re glowing,” he joked, and Poe chuckled.

“Yeah. Um, we caught up for a little bit. It was nice.” He took a breath. “Other than that, nothing to report.”

“Do you think you’ll get back together?”

“What?” Poe laughed, but it immediately faded. He swallowed. “Um. I don’t really know. I think… I think she wants to.”

“Do you?”

Poe thought for a moment. “I miss her.”

Finn nodded slowly. Poe glanced at him.

“What did you and Nick do last night?”

Finn looked alarmed. Poe shook his head, letting out a laugh.

“I meant, like, on the date. What did you do on your date. I know you fucked, that goes without saying.”

Finn smiled and blushed. “We just watched a movie at my apartment.”

“Netflix and chill,” Poe said sagely. “Classic. What movie?”

_“Herbie: Fully Loaded,”_ Finn said, and Poe laughed again. “Yeah, it’s dumb. It was our friend’s favorite movie.”

Poe’s smile faded. “Was?” he asked, then blinked. “Sorry— you don’t have to tell me,” he hurried. “Sorry.”

Finn looked at him for a moment. “No, it’s— yeah. Our friend Alex died about six months back.”

Poe remembered the weird questions Finn had asked him when he’d gotten that text from Rey. It felt like a long time ago.

_“Are you sure you’re okay? You’re not gonna do something stupid? You’re not gonna hurt yourself?”_

He was pretty sure he could guess how Alex died.

“I’m really sorry, Finn,” he said quietly. “But, um— it sounds like you guys really know each other. And you’re there for each other. That’s really important.”

Finn nodded. “Thanks. He’s just always been there, y’know?”

“Yeah,” Poe replied. “I do, actually.”

A beat of silence. “Um, I think the muffins are ready to go in the food case,” Finn said.

Poe took the trays into the front cafe and laid them nicely in the case. Outside, the first tendrils of sunlight were staining the sky. He checked his phone for the time: 5:57.

“You can open up,” Finn called from the back, and Poe nodded, even though Finn couldn’t see him.

***

“You need a ride?” Finn asked as he locked up for the night.

“Nah, I’m good, I can walk,” Poe said, bouncing on his toes. “I like the cold.”

“You sure?”

Poe nodded.

“Aight,” Finn said. “I’ll see ya tomorrow, Dameron.”

“Night, boss,” Poe said, then turned down the sidewalk and started on his way. He fit his headphones into his ears and shuffled to a random song; when the notes started, his heart thumped in his chest. A smile snuck its way onto his face.

When he crossed the bridge on the way home, he felt a cold prick on his nose and peered at the sky. Swollen, gentle snowflakes drifted through the air and bumped into each other like bumblebees. They revealed themselves in the pyramid of light coming from the streetlamp, then hid again in the darkness. He slowed to a stop to admire them.

His life was really beautiful right now.

He felt a tap on his shoulder and whipped around, clenching his fist, but stopped himself.

He lowered his hand immediately, then he let out a breath. He took out his headphones. “Christ, Rey, you scared the shit outta me.” He glanced behind her; her car was pulled over and the hazard lights were blinking. “Are you okay?”

Her hair was down, a little greasy, tucked behind her ears. It glowed in the light of the streetlamp. She wore a fuzzy, aged pink coat and a hand-knit green scarf. His breath caught in his lungs when he looked at her. “Yeah— I’m sorry, Poe, I tried to call you over but I didn’t realize you had your headphones in! I didn’t mean to scare you.”

He shook his head. “You’re good, it’s— don’t worry about it,” he murmured.

She tentatively reached for a headphone and fit it into her ear, listening to the song Poe had been playing. A smile spread across her face. “Thrown Right At Me,” she said. Her voice was warm. He put the other headphone in his own ear and stepped a little closer.

When their old song was over, she glanced up at him.

“What are you doing out here?”

“Just walking home from work,” he said. “Looking at the snow.”

She smiled. “Do you want a ride?”

A snowflake rested on her head and melted into her hair. Her breath came out in clouds.

“Yeah,” he answered. “Yeah, sure.”

They both closed the doors at the same time. Her car was warm. It smelled sweet.

It smelled familiar.

“This is probably not the safest place to park,” she muttered. “But I saw you and I had to stop.”

“Hey, y’know, you put your hazards on.”

“So I’m a very good driver,” she joked.

He barked out a laugh. “Whatever you wanna tell yourself, Rey, sure.”

She grinned and pulled back onto the road without using her blinker.

“You haven’t moved, have you?”

“Nope,” he said. “Same place.”

The car coasted through the slick snow; Rey had never gotten used to driving in the winter. Poe was pretty sure she hadn’t had her foot on the gas in about three blocks. She turned up the volume of her music and he tapped his foot to the beat.

“How’s Ben?” she asked.

“Y'know what? I haven’t seen him since the day I quit,” he said. “It’s just me and Finn, so I’m working a lot.”

“Finn?”

“My boss. He’s…” He shook his head, smiling. “He’s great. I like him a lot.”

“That’s good,” she smiled. “I know how much you hated Armitage.”

He sagged. “Yeah. I’m… I’ve been thinking about that day we met at Maz’s. I was a dick to you. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it, Poe,” she said quietly. “I shouldn’t have brought it up. I just went straight in. I’m sorry, too.”

“I was just so fucking miserable. And I think I was more mad at myself than I was at you.”

“Well, I probably just reminded you how miserable you were. I was always criticizing you, even when we were together. I can see how I made you feel like shit.”

He swallowed hard. “So we forgive each other,” he managed.

She smiled gently. “Sounds like it,” she said. “Oh shit!”

Poe swore as she swung a hard right turn, making the back tires fishtail through the snow. Somehow, by some miracle, they drifted in lazy circles to the side of the road, right in front of Poe’s apartment, without hitting anyone. “Jesus Christ! You could have just taken the next right!”

“I’m sorry! I panicked! I fucking hate snow!”

They were both breathing hard, staring straight ahead; then, at some point, it turned to hysterical, adrenaline-fueled laughter. Poe suddenly realized that their hands were tightly intertwined.

He jerked his hand away. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “Sorry.”

She didn’t say anything, just looked at the road. He stared out the passenger window, pursing his lips. The only sound was the music drifting through the speakers. Suddenly, she turned the radio off and faced him.

“Poe? I’m just going to say exactly what I’m thinking, okay?”

He looked at her. Nodded numbly.

“You’re my best friend. I miss you. I miss everything about you,” she said.

He stared. His stomach was aching and fluttering and flipping all at the same time.

She took a breath. “I should never have made you feel the way I did. You know me better than anyone else and I hate not having you in my life. And— and I’m still in love with you.” She looked down and nodded slightly to herself, then looked back at him. “That’s exactly what I’m thinking.” She closed her mouth. Waited.

His eyes were wide. “Do you…” His voice was too quiet. He cleared his throat. “Do you wanna come inside?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ Here's the song Poe was listening to.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7V8Vk8CMe7g) I like this recording of it and it makes me smile. I think it's romantic as hell. I hope it also makes you smile.
> 
> Leave a comment if you feel so moved. I love comments a whole lot.


	6. the fuckin' army

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for one homophobic slur in this chapter, not used in a combative/abusive way.

The radiator rattled in the corner and Rey’s soft breath was tickling his chest as he stared at the ceiling. Absently, he drew gentle circles on her arm. Her hair was white in the moonlight.

His alarm blared and he turned it off as fast as he could, but Rey jumped awake at the sound.

“What time is it?” she whispered.

“3:30,” Poe murmured. “I gotta get up for work.”

“It’s the middle of the night,” she argued groggily, but rolled off of him just the same; she yanked the covers over her bare skin and up to her chin.

He sat up and stretched, muscles aching, then looked down at her. Her eyes were already closed; she opened one of them to peer up at him. He smiled. She smiled back.

When he was showered, shaved, dressed, ready to go, he returned to his bedroom and found her asleep again; he bent down to press a kiss to her cheek. She stirred slightly in the moonlight.

“I’ll see you later,” he whispered, brushing her hair out of her face.

She nodded, eyes still closed. “Love you,” she murmured.

He straightened up a little. “I love you too.”

She was asleep by the time he closed the door.

Poe stuffed his hands in his pockets and expertly avoided the patches of ice on the sidewalk. His breath steamed into his scarf and the moisture soon froze to the fibers. His nose was numb and he smiled to himself.

Did Finn like the cold?

He wondered if Finn ever took walks like this. If he would want to.

He wondered if Finn woke up next to Nick this morning. He shouldn’t care, but he wondered anyway.

He wondered if Finn snored.

He wondered if Finn wondered about him.

Before he knew it, he’d arrived at Sunrise. Through the door, he could see that the lights in the back room were already on. He fit his key in the lock and went inside.

He paused after he locked the door again; there were two voices murmuring in the back. As he listened, one of them laughed. Finn.

He made his way across the cafe, slipping off his scarf as he went, and took a deep breath before pushing the swinging door open.

Finn was stirring the muffin batter, a wide grin on his face, and another man was laughing, telling a story as he sat on the counter. They both looked at him when he entered, and he flashed a smile.

“Morning, Poe, this is Nick,” Finn said.

“Hey, man,” Nick said, hopping down from the counter.

“Morning,” he said, hanging up his scarf. When he put his coat on the hook, he turned around and found Nick there, holding out his hand. Poe smiled and shook it.

“I’ve heard a lot about you, dude, it’s good to fuckin’ meet ya,” Nick said. There was an unusual accent there— some kind of Southern. He towered over Poe. His skin was lightly tanned and his muscles were taut. His nose was bumpy and crooked; Poe had to wonder how many fights this guy had been in. His hair was dark and buzzed, and Poe couldn’t quite tell what color they were, but his eyes were bright. And they looked honest. He’d never described someone’s eyes as _honest_ before.

Poe nodded. “Yeah, you too, Nick.”

“Nick is just here to bug me, I told him not to come,” Finn explained. “You can ignore him.”

“Fuck you, motherfucker, you asked me to come,” Nick grinned, and Finn cracked a smile.

“Could you start on the syrups, Poe?”

“You got it, boss— I’m just gonna make a latte,” Poe said, and Finn gave him a thumbs-up.

When he came back, Nick had returned to his spot on the counter.

“Tell me about yourself, Poe, you married?”

Poe took a sip of his latte. “Um— nah. No, I’m not married.”

“Chicks or dicks?”

Some of his drink went up his nose and he spluttered.

Nick looked concerned. “Sorry, man, you okay?”

Poe nodded, wiping his face with his sleeve. “Yeah— no, it’s fine, it’s just early, I wasn’t expecting the question. Both,” he answered, setting his drink down. Finn glanced at him before focusing on the muffins again.

“Hell yeah, brother, fuck yeah,” Nick said, nodding.

“Are you still in the Army, Nick?”

Nick grinned. “You think they want a fuckin’ fag like me in there? Fuck no, dude, I did my time and got out.”

Finn looked at him. “Nick, don’t fuckin’ say that word.”

Nick’s smile slipped. “Shit, dude, you’re right, I’m sorry.”

“So what do you do now?” Poe asked, measuring out sugar and water into several saucepans and adding the flavorings.

“I’m a fuckin’ mega nerd, man, I’m in school right now,” Nick answered.

“What are you going for?”

“Fuckin’ math, bro. I’m gonna teach math to little fuckin’ high schoolers.”

“That’s— surprising,” Poe managed, and Nick laughed.

“I know, dude, I don’t even look like I can fuckin’ read,” Nick said. “But I’m smart as fuck— Finn, tell him I’m smart as fuck.”

Finn smiled at Nick, then nodded to Poe. “He’s smart as fuck.”

“Well, you’ve got the energy for it, for sure,” Poe said.

“Yeah, he’s always like this,” Finn sighed, eyes crinkling as Nick hopped to the floor again and walked over to him.

“It’s this guy’s fuckin’ presence, Poe, it’s like goddamn sunlight,” Nick said brightly, planting a wet kiss on Finn’s cheek. Finn broke out in laughter. “Doesn’t even matter that it’s ass o’clock in the morning.” He peppered kisses over Finn’s face and Finn’s laughter dissolved into giggles.

“Stop— Nick, stop it,” Finn laughed, glancing at Poe.

Poe smiled as he watched them, but his chest felt tight.

“You been giving him geetar lessons, that right?” Nick asked, relenting from Finn and hopping back on the counter.

“Yeah,” Poe said as he stirred the syrups. “He’s great. My best student.”

Nick grinned at Finn. “I’ve been tryin’ to teach him algebra and he refuses.” He glanced at Poe. “Algebra’s like math with letters,” he explained with a wink.

“Poe was an accountant, he knows what algebra is,” Finn said, shaking his head. He slid the muffin trays into the oven and set the timer.

“Oh shit, that’s right!”

“And I already learned algebra in high school, dipshit, it’s required,” Finn added.

“Y’know what that means? It means I’m employable as shit,” Nick said wisely. “Not as cool as the geetar, though. That’s fuckin’ dope, Poe.”

Poe smiled. “Thanks, man.”

Finn walked over to help him pour the syrups.

“I got it, Finn, you don’t have to do that,” Poe said gently, but Finn ignored him. Poe watched him, a soft look on his face.

“I’ll hold the container, you pour,” Finn said simply. Poe nodded.

“Y’all need help?” Nick asked.

“Maybe he could start the tea?” Poe suggested, but Finn smiled and shook his head.

“He could burn a pot of water dude, he’s fuckin’ useless at this sorta thing.”

Nick chuckled. “I’ve actually done that before.”

Poe knit his eyebrows. Nick nodded. “Tried to boil water in a plastic bowl on the stove to make Ramen. Bowl fuckin’ melted,” he said gravely, but there was an amused light in his eyes. “Almost killed me. Dark day.”

“I thought you said you were smart as fuck,” Poe joked.

“You can be smart as fuck and still be a fuckin’ dumbass,” Nick said sagely.

***

Poe went to unlock the front door, and Finn wrapped up a muffin for Nick as he shrugged his coat on. When he handed it to him, Nick smiled down at it.

“It’s so fuckin’ cute that you make these, Finn,” Nick murmured. He brought Finn’s lips up to his.

“Go take a nap,” Finn smiled. Across the cafe, Poe flipped the sign on the door and made his way back over.

Nick kissed him again. Finn blushed, his eyes flitting in Poe’s direction.

“I’ll see you later, alright?” Nick said, and Finn nodded. “Have a good day.”

He shook Poe’s hand again, then he walked out the door.

There was a beat as Finn and Poe looked at each other; Poe let out a breath and chuckled.

“Nick is…”

“He’s intense,” Finn finished.

Poe smiled. “Yeah. But he seems like a good dude.”

“I’m sorry he swears so much,” Finn said. “Fuckin’ Army, y’know.” He frowned. “And the— that— you know. The _F_ word. I’m sorry he said that.”

“Finn, don’t worry about it,” Poe dismissed. “He’s really nice.”

“Yeah. He’s— like, I know I said he’s always like that, but he’s not. He can be really gentle.”

“I know, I saw the muffin,” Poe said quietly.

“I just don’t want you to think he’s, like— steamrolling me or something.”

“Doesn’t matter what I think,” Poe said.

“It does, actually,” Finn said. “I— I don’t know why, but I really want you to like him.”

Poe smiled. “I do, Finn.”

Finn looked relieved. “Really?”

He nodded. “Really.”

“Okay.” Finn scratched at his chin. “Okay. Good.”

The bell rang as a customer entered. They both jumped.

***

Poe hurried into the deli across from Sunrise and waved to the tiny old man behind the counter.

“Hello, Poe, how is it?” he said in a thick accent.

“I’m good, Aryeh, how are you? How’s Miriam?”

“Yofi, beautiful,” Aryeh replied. “Still sick, but growing healthy. Her nose is still, ah…” he pantomimed blowing his nose.

Poe nodded. “I brought this muffin over for her, could you give it to her when you get a chance?”

Aryeh took the muffin with a smile. “She likes this. Thank you. You want the number five?”

Poe nodded. He handed Aryeh the money and felt a buzz in his pocket. He took out his phone as Aryeh started his sandwich.

_Morning! I washed the dishes in your sink._

He frowned slightly. Typed a reply.

_You don’t have to do that._

He sent it. Frowned again. Typed some more.

_But thank you._

He watched the little bubble on the screen that meant she was typing. It disappeared and returned a few times as she erased and retyped.

_Don’t mention it. Can we hang out again soon?_

“Poe, your sandwich,” Aryeh said, holding out a bundle of white paper. He slipped his phone back into his pocket.

“Thank you, Aryeh, tell Miriam to drink lots of water,” Poe said, pushing the door open with his back.

In Sunrise, he found his favorite chair empty and nestled down into it with his sandwich. He was halfway done with it when he remembered Rey’s text.

He pulled out his phone and typed a hasty reply.

_Yeah. I’m down._

He yawned, deep and rattling. Then he typed another message.

_I’m fuckin beat, what did you do to me_

She replied immediately.

_:)_

He finished his sandwich quickly and went back to work.

***

Oh, Christ.

Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck.

He hurried along the sidewalk in the dark, holding his hand gingerly to his face. He pulled it away and a patch on his glove glistened in the moonlight.

Shit.

What if Nick was there again?

He didn’t think he could handle him two days in a row. Nick was nice, he was a good guy, Poe should have liked him— he did like him— but he was too much to handle at 4:30 in the morning. He didn’t want to walk into Sunrise with a bloody face and see Nick. He just didn’t.

When he arrived at Sunrise, the cafe was still dark. He fit his key in the lock just as he heard a car pull up, and he glanced backwards.

Finn stepped out of the car with a yawn and locked it, blinking slowly, before spotting him.

“Morning,” he said, getting closer. When he saw Poe’s face, he stopped. “What the hell happened?”

“It’s nothing,” Poe said. “Do you have a first aid kit?”

Finn stared at the cut, then nodded. “Yeah, in— in the back room. C’mon.”

Poe opened the door to the cafe and glanced back at the car again as they walked inside. “Is Nick here?”

Finn shook his head as he disarmed the alarm. Relief flooded through Poe.

“He’s at his place.” He looked at Poe again. “I don’t have that much, just some wipes and a band-aid.”

“That’s fine,” Poe shrugged.

Finn walked into the back and grabbed a small red bag with a white cross on it. He turned on the lights in the front and Poe blinked at the brightness, making his way to one of the tables and sitting down.

Finn knelt down in front of him and ripped open an antiseptic wipe. “Okay, now, what happened?”

Poe let out a chuckle. “It’s so stupid, dude.” Finn waited for more and pressed the wipe to Poe’s cheek. “I slipped on the ice.”

Finn frowned. “That’s not that stupid.”

“The moon was really big and I was staring at it and I slipped and my face hit a fucking tree,” Poe elaborated. “That’s what’s stupid.”

Finn stared at him, face completely neutral. “I guess you could say you… face planted.”

There was a beat of silence. “Finn… I’m gonna have to let you go,” Poe said.

Finn started to laugh. “You can’t fire me!”

“I can, actually, that was a fireable offense,” Poe grinned. Finn’s eyes squeezed shut and he snorted. “That was the worst fucking joke I’ve ever heard. I think I can citizen’s arrest you for that.”

He’d never heard Finn laugh the way he was laughing right now. Not even when Nick had been here. It made Poe’s stomach swoop. It made him smile so wide his nose crinkled.

Finn’s laughter subsided and he reached back into the kit for a band-aid. He was still grinning as he tore it open and pressed it gently to Poe’s skin. Poe’s hand replaced his on the bandage and felt it absently. Their eyes met and Finn’s grin slipped a little.

“We should get the espresso ready,” Poe said softly.

Finn nodded and stood, holding out his hand to help Poe up. Poe took it.

Once he was standing, Finn gave his hand the briefest squeeze, so gentle Poe thought he imagined it, then let it go.

He smiled to himself as Finn went into the back.

Finn’s song, ‘Sunrise,’ started drifting from the speakers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've really been loving the comments on this. They're all so deep! I'm really glad you guys are digging this. Let me know what you think of this chapter.


	7. you can open up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for some violence described in this chapter. I've added a warning to the tags as well.
> 
> Also. Folks. For about a week I had this tagged as Star Wars Prequel Trilogy on accident. So fuckin embarrassing, guys. Anyway, I've changed it now. What a gaffe.

A trail of discarded clothing— scarf, coat, shoes, belt— led to the couch in Poe’s cramped living room. He sagged into the cushions, content to just fall asleep here and sleep through his entire upcoming day off. The muscles in his back were punishing him for stooping over the espresso bar the entire day and his feet throbbed in time with his heartbeat. His eyes drooped closed and he was half asleep when he heard a knock on his door.

It was probably a mistake. Somebody with the wrong address. Or maybe a vacuum salesman working late. Nobody ever knocked on his door.

He closed his eyes again.

The knock was louder this time.

He whined as he rolled off the couch and trudged over to the door, stumbling over his shoes on the way and swearing loudly.

He opened the door.

Rey stood there with a wide smile, which faltered slightly when she saw the look on Poe’s face, and held up several grocery bags.

Poe rubbed his eyes roughly. “What is— are you— why are you— at— here.”

Rey chuckled and moved past him into his kitchen, setting the grocery bags down on the table. “It’s only seven, were you sleeping?”

“I worked a solo shift today,” he muttered.

“Where was your boss? He shouldn’t have left you alone.”

“He deserves a day off,” Poe said curtly.

“Well, your fridge is completely empty,” she said. “I’m gonna cook you dinner.”

He plopped into the chair and laid his head on the table. “You don’t have to do that.”

He would honestly be content to fall asleep here as well.

“You can just hang out there. It won’t take me very long.”

“I’m so tired I wanna cry.”

She trailed her fingers through his hair and goosebumps trickled down his neck. “You can cry if you need to, Poe. But then you have to eat something.”

“I had a sandwich,” he argued.

“When?”

He paused. “I don’t remember.”

“Exactly.” She set to work mincing up garlic. “When was the last time you actually cooked?”

“I made a fancy Ramen the other day.”

She smiled. “Fancy Ramen?”

“The ones that come in the bowl,” he murmured. “With the lil packet of veggies.” He nuzzled his face into the crook of his elbow.

“Okay, so, never,” she concluded. “You’ve never actually cooked.”

“I hate cooking, Rey,” he muttered. “You already know that.”

“I know,” she said. “But you should learn. You’re an adult.”

“Exactly, and I’ve survived this long without it. Cooking is a scam.”

She turned on the stove burner and settled a pan onto it, drizzling olive oil. “You’re ridiculous,” she smiled.

His eyes drifted shut again and she patted his cheek lightly. Slowly, he sat up. Blinked at her. “I just worked, like, fourteen hours, Rey.”

She looked at him. Sat in the other chair and scooted closer to him, then took his face in her hands. There was a small smile on her lips.

“How about a compromise?” she asked.

He nodded absently.

“I’ll cook, you sleep. I’ll put the meal in the fridge for you to eat later.”

“Mm,” he confirmed.

She kissed him briefly, then stood up again and turned her attention back to the stove.

He didn’t remember how he got there, but the next thing he knew, he was in bed. Somehow, because of his exhaustion, the pillows seemed fluffier; the covers seemed softer. He woke up briefly to the smell of stir fry drifting from the kitchen, felt his stomach squirm, and fell asleep again.

The next time he woke up, someone was crawling into bed with him. He kept his eyes closed and half-expected to smell the aroma of toasted nuts, coffee, warm spice. Instead, he smelled the fresh, earthy lavender and mint of Rey’s shampoo. She nestled closer to him under the covers with her back to him until they were flush against each other, and, after a moment, he draped his arm over her waist.

***

The cafe was quiet and dark. The music was off. The air coming out of the vents was dry and warm. In the corner, under a bright lamp, Finn and Poe sat on stools and faced each other. Poe’s guitar was perched comfortably on his leg and he hummed as he tuned the strings. Finn watched him, enthralled.

When he was finished, Poe ran his hand gently over the curve of the wood. Then he looked up. “Okay, your turn.”

Finn readied his guitar.

“I want you to listen to each of your strings and tell me if you think it’s flat or sharp.”

Finn nodded. He plucked the low E string and strained his ears. “I think… it sounds fine?”

Poe shook his head and plucked his own E string. “Try it again.”

Finn listened intently to the sound of his instrument. “It’s sharp,” he said.

Poe smiled. Finn turned the peg slowly and listened again. Poe remained silent.

“Okay.” Finn looked at him. “It sounds good to me.”

He nodded. “Now the A.”

When they were done tuning, Finn smiled at him. “Thank you for doing this, Poe. This is the highlight of my week.”

Poe ignored the thump in his chest and waved dismissively. “Thank you for giving me a job.”

Finn grinned and waved a hand. There was a beat of silence. “What’s your favorite song to play?”

“I think it changes depending on how I’m feeling. I like Dave Van Ronk— I like folk songs because there’s no one way to play them. You can kinda fuck around and see what works. Change the time signature and stuff. Change the lyrics to fit the mood.”

Finn nodded along. “Can you show me?”

Poe eyed him.

“Purely for educational purposes and not because I want to hear you sing?” Finn tried. Poe cracked a smile. “I’ve just never heard you play more than a few chords. It would be beneficial. For my learning. For my guitar learning. My guitar journey.”

Poe laughed. Shifted his guitar a little. “Fuck it. Sure, Finn. Just for you, buddy.”

Finn watched intently as he tested a few chords, then Poe sat up and cleared his throat. He started playing a steady melody, shifting smoothly through the chords, tapping his foot with the beat. He glanced at Finn before he started singing.

Finn’s face changed when he did. He’d never seen Poe this relaxed. Not when Poe was chatting up customers, not even when Poe was talking to him. He kept glancing between Poe’s fingers gliding across the frets, and his mouth forming the lyrics of the song. Every note, every chord, every word was sure and clear and true. And personal. It felt like Poe was sharing a secret with him. Like he was seeing Poe for the first time.

It felt like there was absolutely nothing in between them. Finn hadn’t realized how guarded Poe really was until right now, when the walls had disappeared.

When the song ended, it was as though window shades dropped over Poe’s eyes. Finn searched them. This was how they normally looked; how had he never noticed that barrier?

It was silent between them for a long time. Finn blinked slowly.

Poe shifted. Waited for Finn to say something.

Poe rubbed his nose. “So, that song can be done in three four, four four, anything you want, really,” he said. “We can talk about shifting time signatures—”

“Poe,” Finn said softly.

Poe looked at him. “Yeah?”

“That was… You’re incredible.”

Poe let out a laugh. “Thank you.”

“No, that was— Jesus Christ,” Finn said.

He smiled briefly. “Thanks. I can teach you the chord progression, and we can work on—”

“Can you play something else?” At Poe’s expression, Finn pressed on. “For educational purposes?”

Poe’s mouth twitched. “Last one, and then we’re gonna continue the lesson. Okay?”

Finn nodded.

***

Somehow, Finn got him to play for the rest of the session. By the end, Poe’s throat felt dry.

“I’m gonna drive you home,” Finn told him as he packed up his guitar. Poe straightened and looked at him, getting ready to protest. Finn shook his head. “Not a suggestion.”

He carefully laid his guitar in Finn’s back seat, then sat up front. When Finn shut the driver side door, they looked at each other.

“I think that was the best concert I’ve ever been to,” Finn grinned.

Poe laughed. “Thanks, man.”

Finn pulled out onto the road. “Poe, you’ve got something really special. That felt— like— it was like a gift,” Finn managed. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone do that.”

Poe frowned. “Do what?”

Finn shook his head. “I don’t know. Give so much of themselves to something. Just completely… I dunno. Surrender.”

Poe didn’t know what to say.

“Nobody in the Army was ever like that,” Finn said. Poe watched him carefully as he talked. “Like, we were vulnerable with each other, we were like brothers. But the only time we were totally open was when one of us was dying.”

Poe didn’t dare say anything now. He just listened.

“Like when Li got blown up. My friend Li,” Finn said quietly. “He was always super quiet. And then, when I was carrying him to the medevac, he just wouldn’t stop talking. He wasn’t even scared, he just kept saying how much he loved me. And Alex. And Nick. It was so weird.”

“Weird?” Poe asked.

Finn nodded. “Yeah. Because… because he was dying, y’know? And I’d never felt closer to anyone than I felt to Li when he was dying.”

Poe blinked.

“And this other time. We were going through this abandoned building, making sure it was clear. And this ANA soldier was guiding us through. And he stepped on an IED, and I got knocked backward and we were both on the ground. And I was sorta dazed, just staring at him. And most of his—” He glanced at Poe. Seemed to consider for a moment. Looked back at the road. “Most of his lower half was gone. And he looked at me, and kinda tucked his arm under his head. Like he was about to take a nap.” Finn kept his eyes on the road, but they were clouded, like they were seeing something else entirely. He shook his head slightly. “Like he was just gonna lay down for a bit. That’s what it looked like. I’ll never fuckin’ forget that, man. And I didn’t even know his name, but it was like, somehow, I knew exactly who he was. Do you know what I mean?”

“I— I think so.”

Finn leaned forward and looked up at a passing street sign. “I think I missed your turn.”

“That’s fine,” Poe said. “We can keep driving.”

Finn looked at him and smiled. “That’s what it was like watching you sing.”

Poe stared. “I— I don’t really…”

“Just completely at peace. Completely open. You’re not performing for anybody. It’s like— it’s like when you sing, you’re just you. And you forget everything else. Like Li. Like that guy taking a nap. Only… only you don’t have to be dying to be vulnerable.” Finn frowned suddenly.

Poe watched him. “What?”

He glanced at him. “I… I don’t know. Nothing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ Here's a clip](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7M8m4LyFSkE) of Oscar Isaac performing in Inside Llewyn Davis, which is a fucking great movie. This is the song I was picturing Poe singing.
> 
> I hope you folks liked this chapter! I absolutely adore your comments!


	8. what are you doing here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks, sorry for the delay on this chapter. I had a crazy end-of-summer week.
> 
> I hope you're looking forward to school if you're in school, or just autumn if you're not in school.
> 
> I also hope you enjoy this chapter.

Poe idly purged the steam wand while Finn wiped down the counters. The line had dispersed, and the customers were either on their way out the door or sitting at the tables.

Finn leaned against the counter and sighed. He met Poe’s eyes and they both let out a disbelieving laugh. “That white lady.”

“That white lady,” Poe agreed, running a hand through his hair. He stood up straight and took on a snooty expression. _“Half_ almond, _half_ heavy cream, steamed to exactly _one_ hundred and twenty _five_ degrees, with exactly _half_ an inch of foam, two thirds decaf, one and a _quarter_ pumps of lavender,” he said in a hushed but shrill voice.

“If it’s one and a _half_ pumps of lavender, I’ll send it back,” Finn added.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been watched as closely as that, man,” Poe said, shaking his head. “It was like I was performing heart surgery on the president or something. Jesus fucking Christ.”

Finn laughed. “Fuckin’ _Susan,_ dude. Fuck outa here, Susan.”

Poe slid down against the counter until he was crouched on the floor. His knees popped in unison and he groaned.

Finn watched him. “How ya doin’, bud.”

Poe nodded and yawned. “Doin’ good.” He smiled up at Finn, who was yawning now too. “How bout you.”

Finn closed his mouth and blinked a few times. “I was thinking we could do guitar twice a week.”

“Yes,” Poe said immediately. He blushed. “Yeah, that’d be fine.”

“I feel like I’m learning a lot.”

“You are, you’re getting good,” Poe agreed. He straightened back up and twisted to crack his back.

“Do you think you could teach me that song you played last week?”

Poe’s cheeks tinted. “Yeah, definitely.”

Finn nodded. “I was also thinking I could start picking you up when we work together. In the morning. I know you like to walk,” he rushed at Poe’s expression, “but people, y’know, people drink a lot this time of year. And it’s dangerous that early in the morning. _And,_ you wouldn’t have to wake up as early, because it wouldn’t take as long to get here.” He frowned. “Okay. I think I remembered everything.” He looked at Poe. “You don’t have to say yes, it’s just an idea. And I know I’m technically your boss, and you— maybe you feel like you have to say yes or something, but you don’t.”

Poe’s stomach leapt at Finn’s words. Did he rehearse all that? Did he think about Poe when they weren’t together? He felt the blush on his cheeks deepen. “Yeah,” he said quietly. He cleared his throat. “Yeah, no, I think that’s a good idea.”

Finn looked visibly relieved. “Really?”

Poe nodded. “Yeah. I would hate to face plant again.”

Finn broke into a smile. “Okay. Cool.”

“Cool,” Poe agreed.

They looked at each other for a moment and smiled. Then Finn grabbed a rag and began to wipe down the empty tables.

Poe focused on cleaning the espresso machine and glanced up when he heard the door jingle. His heart thumped in his chest.

Rey tucked her hair behind her ear as she walked in; she was wearing a slouchy knitted hat and a baggy coat today. She smiled at him.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, eyebrows knit. He glanced at Finn, still wiping down tables.

“Well, I was going to get a cup of coffee,” she said, eyes twinkling. “Isn’t that what most people come in here for?”

He breathed out a laugh. “Yeah. Um. Small decaf mocha?”

She nodded and her eyes landed on Finn as he walked back around the counter. “Can I have a muffin, too?”

Poe nodded. “That’s $7.75.”

Rey grinned. “Oh, _now_ you’re making me pay.”

Finn glanced up. “You giving away free stuff, Dameron?” His voice was hard. Poe could tell he was joking.

Rey couldn’t. She peered at Finn with a frown. “Poe wouldn’t do that. He paid for it himself.”

Poe smiled. “Nah, I stole,” he said casually, glancing at Finn. “Hope you don’t mind, boss.”

Finn shrugged. “So long as you’re honest about it, that’s all that matters,” he cooed. He looked at Rey, who had relaxed a little at their tone but still looked slightly confused. “Who is this?”

Poe blinked. “This is my— this is Rey,” he hurried.

Finn straightened up. Glanced between them. “Rey?”

Rey smiled. She held out her hand and Finn shook it. “I’ve heard a lot about you, Finn, it’s nice to meet you,” she said.

“Good things, I hope,” he joked, and Rey nodded. He glanced at Poe, who had his arms crossed tightly. “I’ve heard a lot about you too, Rey.”

She glanced at Poe as well. “Good things, I hope,” she smiled.

Finn smiled and started steaming the milk for her mocha as she handed Poe the money. “So, Rey, what do you do?”

“Pottery,” she said. “A few galleries in town have started selling my stuff lately.”

“That’s great!” Finn said, swirling the milk. “I’ve been looking for a local artist to make some mugs and saucers and stuff, do you do commissions?”

She blinked. “Yeah! I— here’s my number,” she said, taking out a pen and scrambling for a piece of paper.

Poe ripped off some receipt paper and handed it to her. She scribbled her details on it and held it out for Finn to take as Poe grabbed her muffin. Finn handed her the finished mocha.

“Thank you,” she said, and he smiled.

“No, thank _you,”_ he said, then turned to Poe. “Poe, you’re due for a break if you wanna hang out with Rey for a bit.”

“Are you sure?”

Finn nodded. “I’ll call you if I need you.”

Poe quickly made his own drink while Rey watched. At his milk choice, Rey’s eyes widened. “You hate soy,” she said.

He shrugged. “I’d never actually tried it,” he explained. “Finn made me and now I love it.”

She looked at Finn. “You got him to try something new?” she joked.

Before Finn could answer, Poe finished his latte and held out his hand for Rey to take. As he led her to his favorite table, Finn’s eyes stayed glued to their intertwined hands.

***

Finn stared, entranced, as Poe put his guitar back in its case. “Are you sure you can’t do one more?”

Poe smiled. “Finn, that was, like, the fifth encore already.”

Finn knelt down and packed away his own instrument. “I know, I just love your voice. And I love the way you play. For educational purposes, of course,” he added hastily.

“Sure, yes, of course,” Poe nodded, ignoring the swoop in his stomach.

Finn armed the alarm and locked the door as they walked out of the cafe. There was a beat of silence. “So you and Rey are back together?”

Poe nodded. “Yeah.”

“How did that happen? And when?”

They laid their guitars in the back seat. “A few weeks ago. I don’t really… I guess she saw me walking home and gave me a ride.” They buckled their seatbelts. “And then she kinda, y’know, laid everything out on the table.” Finn pulled out onto the road. “Told me she loved me. And then I guess we were back together.”

“Do you love her?”

Poe looked at him. If anyone else had asked this question, he would have told them to fuck off. That it was none of their business. But this was Finn. And this was a post-guitar-lesson car ride. The rules were different.

He smiled. “Yeah. I do.” Then he frowned.

Why was he frowning?

Finn looked at him. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m not… really sure,” Poe said. “I do love her.” He glanced at Finn. “Do you love Nick?”

Finn considered. “He’s been my friend for five years, and my boyfriend for two months. You and Rey have been together for— what, like five years?”

“Eight. Well, seven. We broke up for about a year.”

“Jesus— see, that’s a long time. So... I love him, but I don’t think I’m _in love_ with him. At least, not yet.”

Poe nodded slowly. “He makes you happy?”

Finn sighed. “He makes me very happy and very stressed.” Poe waited for him to say more. “He’s just… _so much_ of himself. Do you know what I mean? He’s fun and he’s like— like a big puppy. And puppies are cute and charming and everyone loves them, because how could they not? But they also run into things and chew on your shoes and say stupid things and— and I’m losing the analogy here. But I feel like I’m always apologizing for him. And it’s stressful.”

“Have you told him this?”

Finn shook his head. “We don’t talk about that kind of thing a lot. It’s not like you and me.”

Poe’s chest tightened at Finn’s words. “Yeah. Me and Rey don’t really do this either, I guess.”

“You don’t?”

“It’s like… I dunno, at a certain point, it feels like you’ve said everything you’re ever gonna say to someone.” At his own words, Poe’s stomach dropped.

Finn watched him. “So, at the beginning, you did? You talked about feelings and stuff?”

“Um.” He swallowed. “I guess so.”

“So... when was that point?”

They pulled over next to Poe’s apartment, packed snow groaning under the weight of the tires. Most of the houses on his street had put up their Christmas lights, so a warm glow washed over the mounds of plowed snow on the side of the road.

“Oh, shit,” Poe breathed when he spotted a car in his driveway.

Finn looked at him. “What?”

He blinked. “Nothing. It’s just— Rey’s here.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“Yeah,” Poe replied absently. He blinked. “No. It’s a good thing. I just— have this stir fry in my fridge that she made forever ago and she’s gonna ask why I didn’t eat any. It’ll be the first thing she checked.”

Finn frowned. “Why didn’t you eat it?”

Poe peered at his house. The tiny kitchen window was glowing. “I don’t know.”

He felt Finn’s eyes on him. “Okay,” Finn tried, “well, I’ll see you in the morning then?”

He nodded. “Yeah. See ya.” He scrambled out of the car and grabbed his guitar out of the back seat. He watched Finn pull away, instrument hanging limply at his side.

When he got inside, Rey was sitting at the kitchen table. She smiled tiredly as he slid off his shoes. “How was work?”

He yawned as he set down his guitar. “Good. Finn’s chord changes are getting really smooth.”

She nodded slowly. “Do you sing?”

He frowned. “Do I sing? What do you mean?”

“Do you sing for him?”

“Yeah,” he said, pulling his shirt over his head and heading into the bedroom. “Why?”

She was quiet for a while. He came back into the kitchen wearing a loose tee shirt and shorts. “I haven’t heard you sing in a long time.”

He knit his eyebrows. “I’m teaching him songs, I have to sing. It’s not a big deal.” His heart thudded dully at the lie.

She didn’t say anything.

He watched her. “What are you doing here?”

She sighed. “You never used to ask me that.”

He sat down across from her. Rubbed his nose. “I don’t really know how I’m supposed to respond to that.”

She breathed out a laugh. “Yeah, me neither.”

He cracked a smile but it vanished quickly.

“I dunno,” she said. “I think I came over to watch a movie or something.” She jerked her chin toward a tote bag near the couch which Poe hadn’t noticed before. A few DVD cases poked out the top. He knew there was popcorn and sour gummy worms in the bag. One of their old traditions. He felt a strange ache when he thought about it. “You were weird when I came in today,” she said quietly.

He looked back at her. It was silent while he thought about what to say. An excuse. Anything.

“I know,” he said instead.

She knit her eyebrows. “Why?”

“I don’t know,” he said.

“C’mon, Poe.”

Poe stared at his hands, clasped on the surface of the table. “I guess I was just nervous.” She waited for him to elaborate. “About you and Finn meeting,” he finished. He let out a deep breath.

“Why? He’s just your boss.”

“He’s my friend,” Poe said. “He’s a really good friend.”

“Poe, just because he’s better than your last boss doesn’t mean he’s your friend,” she said. “And you shouldn’t get attached,” she added.

He frowned. “What does that mean?”

She shrugged. “You’re looking for other jobs, right?”

“No,” he said. “Why would I do that?”

“Well, it’s… it’s a cafe, Poe,” she said. “It’s not permanent.”

“It’s the best job I’ve ever had, Rey. This is the happiest I’ve ever been.” His breath came quicker. “Why do you always—” he stopped himself. Sighed. Shook his head.

She took his hands. “I know you’re happy, Poe, I’m so glad you’re happy. But is this really where you wanna be? Forever?”

“Maybe!” he said, shoulders tense. He withdrew his hands and placed them in his lap. “Maybe I do want to do this forever. Why does it matter to you so much? I’m not— I’m not starving, I’m making enough to live on, I’m working with my best friend, I get to play guitar. I’m happy. Isn’t that enough for you?”

There was a beat. “Poe, why didn’t… why didn’t you eat the stir fry?” she asked quietly.

He stared. Breathed out a laugh.

“I just— I thought you would like it,” she said. “I wanted to do something nice for you.”

“No,” he said, shaking his head slightly. “No, you didn’t. You just have this weird urge to show me that I need you.”

“You do.”

“Rey, I am fine,” he said slowly. “I’m fine. I don’t need you taking care of me.”

“But— we’re supposed to,” she insisted. “We’re supposed to take care of each other.”

“But your method of taking care of someone is— is _making sure_ they need you. Like that movie _Misery.”_

She stared. “You’re comparing me to Kathy Bates in _Misery?”_

“No— okay, that was dramatic. You’re not like that,” Poe said. “I’m sorry. But— but the only way you know how to be with me is to take care of me. And I don’t need you to do that anymore.”

“But we’ve been like that since the beginning,” she said.

“We were twenty in the beginning,” Poe replied gently. “We were twenty, Rey. I’ve changed. And so have you,” he said. “I think our relationship needs to change, too.”

She went quiet. Poe watched a tear escape her eye and she quickly wiped it away. “Don’t you love me anymore?”

“Yes. I do,” he nodded. “But, I mean… Rey, are we _in love?”_

She looked at him.

“Are you in love with me? Or are you just used to me?” he asked.

“I don’t… I thought…” She shook her head.

He watched her. “Shouldn’t that question get an instant answer?” he said softly. “I love you, Rey. I used to be in love with you. I don’t know when that changed.”

She wiped away another tear. “Then why did you get back together with me?”

He felt his own eyes sting. “I think I thought they were the same thing,” he whispered. “I don’t know how to not be in love with you yet.”

She sniffled. Nodded. “I think I’m going to go, then,” she said, standing up slowly.

He stood up too. “I’ll carry your bag.”

Outside, he set the bag in her back seat, breath turning to steam in the air. He crossed his arms in the cold.

She hovered next to the driver side door. They looked at each other for a moment.

“I’m sorry, Rey.” Poe searched her eyes.

She looked exhausted. “It’s not something we can change,” she said quietly.

He held out his arms and she walked into them. They hugged each other tightly.

When they finally let go, tears wet both their faces. “I love you, Poe.”

He nodded. “I love you too.” His voice was thick.

She opened her door and slid into her seat. Turned the key and the engine roared to life. “I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah,” he said. “See you later.”

He watched her pull out onto the road, muscles shivering. His heart thudded dully at the lie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are my lifeblood. Please let me know what you think! I appreciate you all so much.


	9. back to the future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back, folks! I hope you like this one!
> 
> my roommate is currently having very loud sex upstairs so send thoughts n prayers to ya boy

He shuffled out the door and blinked in the beams of Finn’s headlights, tightening his coat around him as he shivered.

He stumbled into the passenger seat, closing his door too gently, then slamming it hard so that it latched. Finn watched him as he buckled his seat belt.

“Morning,” Finn tried.

Poe nodded and rubbed his eyes, which were still puffy from the night before. He burrowed his nose into his scarf.

Finn pulled onto the road. “You okay, Dameron?” He glanced sideways at him.

Poe nodded again. “Rey and I broke up.”

“Oh,” Finn managed.

“Yeah.”

“Are you okay?”

“I think so,” Poe said. “Last time we broke up, it was this huge fight. But this time it was really quiet. And I know it’s permanent.”

“That must be sad,” Finn said. He checked his blindspot and changed lanes, then searched Poe again.

“Yeah.” Poe felt tears brimming again. “Fuck,” he breathed. “Yeah. It’s sad.” He closed his eyes, focusing on shooing the tears away. “I’m okay, though.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“When we get to Sunrise, do you want a hug?”

One of the tears overflowed. “Yeah.”

Finn nodded. There was a beat of silence. “Did you have any interesting dreams?”

Poe broke into a smile as he wiped his cheek. “Nah. I didn’t sleep very well. Did you?”

Finn shook his head. “Not really. Have you ever had a dream that came true? Like a premonition or something?” Poe peered at him. He shrugged and smiled slightly. “I just think dreams are neat,” he explained.

“I think I’m probably the least psychic person you’ll ever meet,” Poe said. “But there was this one time in college— my mom had been sick for awhile. And I had this dream that she was sitting on my bed, like, squishing my legs. She used to do that to get me up for school. And she was saying something. I couldn’t hear what, but she was smiling, so I knew it wasn’t anything serious. And then I woke up, and my phone was ringing, and it was my dad. And he said—” Poe cleared his throat. Swallowed. “She’d died. A few minutes before.”

Finn’s eyes were wide. “Wow.”

“Yeah. But she’d been sick for awhile. So it wasn’t a surprise or anything. Nothing psychic.”

“Maybe,” Finn said. “Maybe she was saying goodbye, though.”

“Eh, I dunno. I like to think that, but I don’t know.”

Finn glanced at him. “You don’t believe in that kinda thing?”

Poe blew out his cheeks. “Man, who the hell knows, y’know?” He looked at Finn. “Do you?”

Finn nodded.

Poe watched him for a moment. “Any particular reason?”

He shrugged. “It’s just a feeling I have. I don’t know if it’s God, capital G, or whatever. But things feel planned out sometimes.”

“Like when?”

“Like that Norah Jones CD on base,” Finn smiled as he parked in his usual spot at Sunrise. “Or, yesterday, I had the exact right amount of change in my pocket to buy myself a chocolate milk.” Poe chuckled. “Or— I dunno, like that rainstorm. When you came in for the first time. Maybe that rainstorm was planned by somebody.” He climbed out of the car and, after a moment, Poe followed him. “You still want that hug?” Finn asked.

Poe nodded numbly.

Finn walked around the hood of the car and wrapped his arms around him. Poe instinctually buried his nose in Finn’s shoulder and hugged him tightly back. His hand drifted up to the back of Finn’s neck and gripped him gently, thumb dipping into his soft hair. Finn’s chin rested on his shoulder.

“You’re a really good hugger,” he mumbled into Finn’s coat. Finn laughed as they released each other.

“Feel better?” Finn said as he fit his key in the lock.

“Yeah, actually,” Poe said. The knot in his chest had loosened. His breath came a little easier. “That did the trick, dude.”

“Anytime, man, just say the word.” Finn typed in the alarm code and Poe went into the back room to grab the espresso beans for the machine. Before he picked up the bag, though, he paused. Took a deep breath. Smiled to himself.

He would be okay.

***

Poe fit the lid on a latte. “Maple cardamom for Priya?”

He handed the drink to the waiting customer and hurried into the back, grabbing yet another bag of espresso beans. When he returned, the line had doubled. People were even standing in the cold, waiting to come inside. Poe and Finn moved even faster, gliding around each other like they were dancing.

He returned to the front register and grinned at the customer.

“Aryeh! My man. How’s it goin’, sir?”

Aryeh smiled. “Everything is good, Poe, and you? It is very…” Aryeh thought for a moment, then waved his hand. “Fast today. Everyone is here.”

“You must be busy too, right? Doesn’t Hanukkah start tonight?”

Aryeh nodded. “You know this? Many goyim, they do not know this,” he said. “Yes, we are— busy?” Poe smiled and nodded. “Busy. I want a cappuccino, please.”

“You got it,” Poe said, taking down his order. “Anything for Miriam?”

“She likes tea.”

“How about our chai?”

“Good.”

“Extra espresso in your cappuccino?” Poe asked, and Aryeh smiled knowingly. He turned to Finn.

“This man is a good employee.”

Finn grinned as he started steaming the milk for a new drink. “Don’t I know it!”

Aryeh laughed and turned back to Poe. “Yes. I want extra espresso.”

Poe smiled. “That’s gonna be $8.25.” Aryeh handed him the exact change and Poe passed along his order to the queue of drinks Finn was making. “That’ll be up in a few minutes, Aryeh.”

Aryeh nodded and went to wait with the others while the next customer approached.

“Hi, how’s it— Ben!”

Poe’s old friend from the car dealership stood before him with a small smile. Poe jogged around to the other side of the counter and stood on his tiptoes to give him a hug.

“What’s up, man!”

“I’m good, dude, how have you been? I didn’t even know you worked here.”

Poe returned to his place behind the counter, beaming. “I’m f—” He glanced behind Ben at the other customers in line and lowered his voice to a murmur. “I’m fucking amazing, dude!” It was mostly true; his day was going a lot better than he’d expected it to. “How’s Armie?”

Ben shuddered. “I actually quit yesterday.”

Poe stared. “Are you serious?”

Ben’s smile widened. “Yeah. I’ve been applying at a few appraisers in town today. Gonna try to use this fuckin’ art history degree, finally.”

“That’s so great, Ben. I’m really happy for you.”

He shrugged. “My dad’s not so thrilled, but fuck him, right?”

Poe shook his head and chuckled. “Sure, bud. Fuck him.” He remembered the long line of customers and straightened. “What can I get you?”

“I just want a medium latte.”

Poe nodded. “Four dollars.”

He slid his card. “Wanna go to a movie soon?”

“Hell yeah, man. I feel like I haven’t seen you in years.”

Ben took on a mournful expression. “You never call, you never write.”

Poe laughed. “Fuck off, dude. You want a receipt?”

“Nah. I’m good. I’ll see you later.”

“Later, bud.”

***

The day was endless; there was a line of customers from open to close. By the time Finn went to lock the door for the night, they were both completely drained. Finn twisted the lock and turned around; to Poe’s surprise, he was beaming.

“That was the busiest day we’ve ever had,” Finn said. “That was fucking amazing, Poe. You did so great today.”

A smile crept onto Poe’s face, despite his exhaustion. “Thanks, boss.”

Finn shook his head. “Poe, I’m so fuckin’ lucky to have you around. Truly. Thank you.”

Poe’s cheeks tinted as Finn hugged him for the second time. It was firm and warm and it untied the knot that had formed inside him over the course of the day. Poe hugged him back and let his eyes drift shut.

Suddenly, Finn let go of him. “Sorry, is that okay? I didn’t really think, I just went right in. Sorry.”

Poe shook his head. “You can hug me anytime. Anytime, Finn. Honestly.”

He smiled. “I’m a hugger, so you might regret saying that.”

“I won’t,” Poe said simply, then grabbed the towel and began wiping down the tables. “Hey— have you ever had a premonition or anything? I’ve been wanting to ask that all day.”

Finn nodded. “Okay, so, I predicted the Cubs winning the World Series.”

Poe broke out into laughter. “No, dude, that was _Back to the Future._ Not you.”

“No, no! They were a year off! I was right!”

“You can’t take credit for Marty McFly’s accomplishments.”

Finn scoffed. “Why not? Didn’t he take credit for ‘Johnny B. Goode’?”

“Shit, man,” Poe grinned. “He did kinda. He did kinda do that.”

“Exactly, so I can have the World Series.”

Poe nodded. “You did it, Finn. You predicted the World Series.”

Finn took a bow. “Thank you.”

“Any dreams, though? Premonition dreams?”

Finn’s smile faded. “Yeah, actually,” he said, pulling out the cash drawer. Poe raised his eyebrows. “It’s heavy, though. You sure you wanna hear?”

“Yeah,” he said earnestly. “Go for it, man.”

“You remember Alex? My buddy who died?”

Poe nodded slowly as he flipped chairs upside down onto the tables.

“So, the night before this big maneuver, I had a dream that Alex got shot,” he said, pausing for a moment to finish counting twenties. “Everything in it was, like, super fuckin’ detailed. But with shit like that, you shouldn’t tell the guy, right? Because it might fuck him up, and then he might get shot because he’s freaking out about getting shot. Y’know what I mean?”

“Yeah,” Poe said, grabbing the broom from behind the swinging door. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

“So I didn’t tell him. But I was so fuckin’ jumpy that whole morning because of this stupid dream. But I just kinda had to get over it, because I didn’t wanna make anybody else nervous.” Finn breathed out a laugh. “Like they weren’t enough already, y’know? So, later that day, we’re crossing this bridge on foot, and about two hundred yards ahead of us is this outpost we’re trying to get to. Alex is in front of me, because he’s the squad leader. I’m second in line, and behind me is this guy named Cross, and Li is in the back.”

“What about Nick?”

Finn shook his head. “He was in a different squad. They were behind us, kinda crawling along this cornfield. And we were on the bridge. And bridges are already dangerous, because you’re just fuckin’ sitting ducks out there. Completely exposed. And in my head, I’m like, ‘I’ve seen this before.’ Y’know? I’m like, ‘Fuck, this is like my dream.’ And I look ahead and there’s this cornfield up and to the right, just like the dream. Cornfields are shitty, too, cause there’s always guys hiding in ‘em. And I’m about to tell Alex to— to start running, or to duck, I dunno. And then I feel something tug at my pack, and I think it’s Cross trying to get my attention, and as I’m turning my head, I hear this— this _pop pop pop!_ And Cross is already on the ground by the time I look at him. This all happens in less than a second, by the way. And I just drop to the ground on instinct and start crawling to him, but Li is already going for him and he’s pointing behind me and shouting, ‘Get Alex! Get Alex!’ So I turn and start yelling for a medic, and I find Alex on the ground. He’s been shot too. Same place as my dream.” Finn pointed to his own neck.

At this point, Poe was leaning on his broom in the middle of the cafe, chores completely forgotten.

“So now I’m screaming for a medic and I take off my pack to get some gauze from my kit, and then I see that my pack is fuckin’ obliterated. There’s this big hole in it. And I didn’t think anything of it at the time— or I didn’t have time to think, I guess. I just went into Alex’s pack instead. Got the gauze and started to treat him. But once it was all over, and I was thinking about it… that tug on my pack, that must have been the bullet going through it. The bullet went straight through my pack and killed Cross. ” Finn frowned, deep in thought.

“What about Alex?” Poe asked in a hushed voice.

Finn blinked. “What?”

“Was Alex… what happened to him?”

“Oh. He was pretty fucked up, but he was okay. He got sent home after that. Purple Heart.” Finn frowned again and started to count the tens. After a moment, Poe resumed sweeping the floor. When Finn was done counting, he sighed. “I always think, like, what if I’d told him about my dream, y’know? Maybe he wouldn’t have gotten shot after all. He wouldn’t have been sent home. I think what really killed him was being back home while we were still fighting. He wasn’t there when Li died, and I think that really fucked him up when he found out. Like he thought it was his fault or something. And it’s like… what was the point?”

Poe knit his eyebrows. “The point of what?”

“The point of that fuckin’ dream, man. Like, everything happens for a reason, right? At least, I think so. But I had the dream, didn’t tell Alex because I thought it would fuck with him, and then he got shot and sent home anyway. And then he…” Finn shook his head. “Dreams like that are supposed to prevent stuff, right? Only it didn’t prevent shit. Because I didn’t do shit about it.”

“Finn,” Poe said softly, propping the broom on a chair and walking over to him. Finn’s lips were trembling. Poe hugged him tightly again. “None of that is your fault.”

After a moment, Finn hugged him back. “Y’know what else is fucked up? When Alex actually died— no dream. No nothing. I didn’t even find out until a day later. Like… truly, no fucking clue. So obviously, God, or whoever the fuck, didn’t send that dream to me to save him. It was literally just to fuck with me, right? Because I never had the ability to stop it in the first place.” He sighed and buried his nose in Poe’s shoulder.

“You saved him, Finn,” Poe murmured. “He got shot and you saved his life.”

Finn shook his head slightly. “I just prolonged it.”

Poe hugged him tighter. “You did the best you could.”

Finn sighed. His breath warmed a patch on Poe’s shirt. “There were so many times I shoulda died over there. That fuckin’ bullet going through my pack and killing someone else? And when I got knocked back by that IED, when that ANA soldier died. That entire deployment, not a scratch on me. Like, what the hell, y’know? What makes me so special?”

Poe stiffened. He leaned back to look Finn in the eyes. “You— you’re— Finn, you’re the—” he sighed. Finn knit his eyebrows. “You’re my favorite person,” Poe said slowly. A look of quiet surprise took over Finn’s face. “You’re the best person I’ve ever met. How could you believe in— in things happening for a reason, but you don’t think that applies to you?” Finn blinked. “I don’t know how you survived all that either, Finn, but I’m fucking glad you did. You just need to… to do your best with what you have. And you’re already doing fucking amazing,” Poe said, gesturing around them. He brought Finn back in, running his hand through Finn’s hair. “I’m not great at advice or anything. But I know you’re the brightest part of my day. And I know you’re the best part of a _lot_ of other people’s days. You deserve to know that.”

Finn smiled against the fabric of Poe’s shirt and let him go. “Jesus, Poe,” he whispered, voice failing him. He wiped a tear away and chuckled. “You’re pretty fuckin’ wonderful yourself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment if the spirit takes you! Thanks for reading.


	10. bakin' cookies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> very chill chapter we have here. i hope you enjoy this chill installment of this chill project.

Poe stumbled into Sunrise with a goofy grin on his face. The clouds were thick and grey, and fat snowflakes were diving to the ground. The cafe was warm, but there were only a few people at the tables; nobody wanted to go out in this weather. He slid his hood off his head and the snow resting on it slipped to the floor. He glanced down at it before spotting Finn behind the bar and waving animatedly, brandishing two greasy paper bags in his hand.

Finn laughed. “Did you walk here?”

Poe nodded and rubbed his boots on the saturated rug before jogging over to the register and handing Finn one of the bags. Finn frowned slightly.

“What is it?”

“Open it.”

“What is it, though?”

Poe rolled his eyes. “Just open it! I made them myself.”

Finn carefully opened it and tilted his head. “Doughnuts?”

Poe beamed. “They’re sufganiyot.”

Finn looked nonplussed.

“They’re these jelly doughnuts you eat at Hanukkah. I want you to try them and tell me if they’re good, because if they are I’m gonna give some to Aryeh and Miriam.”

Finn smiled. “So I’m just your guinea pig?”

“Yes.” Poe gestured to the bag again. “Try one.”

Finn ducked into the back and returned with the cup of coffee he’d been nursing for the last hour, then took a bite of a doughnut. Poe watched him intensely.

Finn’s eyes widened. “Holy shit,” he said thickly.

“Are they good?”

“Yeah, did you try one?”

“Yeah, but I thought I might be biased.”

Finn sipped his coffee and took another bite. “They’re perfect.”

“Thank god,” Poe said. “Okay, I’m gonna go across the street. I’ll let you know how it goes.”

“Godspeed, Dameron.”

***

Poe came back in with a bright smile and he joined Finn behind the counter.

Finn’s smile returned automatically.

“They loved them! Aryeh kissed me on the cheek!”

Finn’s eyes twinkled. He started in on another sufganiyah. Poe’s eyes flicked down to his lips and he wiped away some stray sugar from the corner of Finn’s mouth. “Thanks,” Finn mumbled happily, swallowing thickly and sipping more coffee. “Hey, y’know what? What if we added another pastry to the menu other than the muffins?”

Poe knit his eyebrows. “I feel like it would be weird for us to sell sufganiyot.”

Finn shook his head as he finished the rest of his coffee. “No, no, but we could make cookies or scones or something, we just need to experiment with some recipes.”

“That would be fun,” Poe agreed.

“Do you wanna come over tonight?”

“Over where?” Poe asked blankly. “Your house?”

Finn nodded.

“Yeah— yeah, that’d be cool,” Poe said, then blinked. “Shit, not tonight, though. I’m seeing a movie with Ben. Tomorrow?”

Finn shook his head. “I’m going to Nick’s tomorrow. How about Friday?”

“Friday is open mic, do you think you’ll have the energy?”

He nodded. “I’ll be fine.”

“It’s a deal,” Poe said, holding out his hand. Finn smiled and shook it.

“Deal.”

***

“What was your favorite part?” Poe asked, taking two fries and dipping them in a generous amount of ketchup.

Ben thought for a moment. “Probably the part where the girl was being chased by the murderer and decided to go up into the attic to get away.”

Poe nodded. “I thought the part where she dropped her car keys on the ground in the dark was very original. You just don’t see that in a lot of movies these days.”

“Or when the nerdy girl took off her glasses and she turned out to be _hot?”_

“Totally subverting the narrative,” Poe agreed.

“You just don’t see that in a lot of movies these days,” Ben said.

“You can say that again, Benny.”

“I’ll say it again, Poe. You _just don’t see that_ in a lot of _movies_ these days.”

“Wise words, Benjamin.” Poe took a large bite from his burger. “You hear back from any jobs?” he asked mid-chew.

“Yeah, I got hired at Calrissian’s, I start Monday,” Ben said, and Poe flicked his hand.

“Dude! That’s great!”

He smiled. “Yeah, I think it’s gonna be good. I don’t know why I didn’t quit Snoke’s sooner. I blame you, I think.”

Poe scoffed.

“It’s absolutely your fault,” Ben laughed. “You were so miserable I didn’t want to leave you alone.”

“You were pretty miserable too, asshole,” Poe chuckled.

“Exactly, we were miserable together,” Ben said. “You never want to leave your misery bud alone.”

Poe sobered. “Dude, I left my misery bud alone.”

“At some point, one of the misery buds has to leave the misery nest. It’s only natural,” Ben said sagely. He took a sip of his Dr. Pepper. “I was glad you left, man, for your own sanity.”

“I’m much saner now, I’m glad you noticed,” Poe joked, but Ben nodded.

“You’re so much more confident. It’s like you’re who you were always supposed to be.”

Poe’s eyes suddenly stung. “I think it’s a lot easier to be confident when you’re happy.” He thought for a moment. “Do you think it’s okay to get your confidence _from_ someone? Like, being around them makes you confident? Is that healthy?”

Ben chewed his burger slowly. “Yes,” he said. “I think as long as you’re not miserable when you’re not around them. And you’re still confident when they’re not around. Is this person around right now?”

Poe smiled. “No.”

“You’re still pretty confident, and you’re not miserable, right?”

“Yeah, I feel pretty good.”

“Then I think you’re fine, man,” Ben said. He eyed Poe while he ate some fries. “Who is this person?”

“Finn. My boss.”

“The guy making the coffee the other day?”

He nodded. “He doesn’t feel like my boss. He just feels like my friend, y’know?”

Ben narrowed his eyes. “Just a friend?”

Poe chuckled. “No, I definitely think it’s more than that. But it doesn’t really matter.”

“Why not?”

He shrugged. “He has a boyfriend. But also… I love being around him so much it doesn’t matter that we’re not dating, y’know? He just makes me so happy, I really don’t care what we are.”

Ben blinked. “Damn,” he said, wiping his mouth with a napkin. “That’s very grown-up of you, kid.”

“Thank you.”

“But what if you were dating, though.”

Poe laughed. “That would also make me pretty happy,” he said.

“Do you ever hang out outside of work?”

“I’m going to his house Friday night to bake.”

Ben stared. “You’re gonna smoke weed with your boss?”

“No, I’m going to _bake._ Like, cookies and shit. Dumbass,” Poe chuckled.

“You gonna make a move?”

_“No,”_ Poe insisted.

Ben threw up his hands. “I just want my friend to fuck somebody, is that too much to ask?”

“Thanks, bud, that means a lot,” Poe laughed.

“How long has it been?”

Poe cast his gaze down to his burger. “Oh… a week or so.”

Ben frowned. “That recent?”

“Yeah, me and Rey kinda got back together.”

_“What?”_

“And then we broke up again,” Poe reassured him. “And it’s for real this time, don’t worry.”

Ben gave him a stern look. “You’re better off without her, dude.”

“I know.”

“Now, this Finn fellow—”

Poe smacked his arm. “That’s enough, Benjamin.”

***

“Okay— it’s messy, sorry—”

Poe followed Finn into his apartment, which was the second floor of an old, renovated house. Instantly, he took a deep breath and sighed contentedly. The narrow staircase that led up here had smelled of mildew, but Finn’s apartment smelled like cookies and old books. Poe gazed around the space as Finn started turning on the lights.

A cozy, avocado green couch was the centerpiece of the living room; along the wall was a collection of bookcases, short and tall, fat and skinny, each overflowing with books. The coffee table was cluttered with stacks of cooking magazine subscriptions and greeting cards. A boxy television with a built-in VHS player sat on a stout stand in the corner, and underneath it were dozens of old videotapes mixed with newer DVDs and Blu-Rays.

“You’ve got _Ratatouille_ on Blu-Ray?” Poe smiled.

“Of course, it’s the best Pixar movie,” Finn said.

“What about _The Incredibles?_ Or _Coco?”_ Poe asked, kneeling down to get a closer look at Finn’s collection.

“I’ve got those on DVD,” Finn conceded. “Nothing compares to my boy Remy, though.”

“Do you like _A Bug’s Life_ or _Antz_ better?”

“Never seen _Antz,”_ Finn said simply. “Fuck Woody Allen.”

“Good answer.” Poe straightened up and wandered around Finn’s apartment, checking out knick knacks and book titles, while Finn watched him nervously. “What’s your favorite movie ever?”

Finn blew out his cheeks. “Gotta say _Chicken Run.”_

Poe broke into laughter. “Seriously?”

“Dead serious,” Finn said gravely. “If this whole cafe thing falls through, Plan B is to go back in time and be in the kazoo choir in the _Chicken Run_ soundtrack.”

“It’s a damn good soundtrack,” Poe agreed. “And a flawless plan.”

Finn smiled. “You wanna go into the kitchen and see all the shit I bought for tonight?”

“Hell yeah.”

The kitchen had wood countertops the color of honey and cabinets the color of cream. A few squat cactuses perched on the windowsill. An enamel table sat in the center of the room and it was covered in baking supplies.

“Okay, so, I got basically all of the flour they had,” Finn started, admiring the groceries, “and the muffins are blueberry, which goes really well with the more floral flavors we have, but we don’t really have anything that specifically complements the darker flavors like chocolate and espresso.” Finn looked up at him. “What?”

Poe was looking at him with twinkling eyes and a small smile. He blinked at Finn’s attention, but didn’t rid his face of the expression. “I just like it when you talk about that stuff.”

Finn knit his eyebrows and smiled. “Our job?”

Poe nodded. “Keep going.”

Finn blushed. “Okay. So I was thinking, brown butter hazelnut chocolate chip cookies.”

“Shit, man, did you know Brown Butter was my nickname in college?”

Finn tilted his head and narrowed his eyes. “You’re lying.”

Poe shrugged. “Woulda been cool, though, right?”

“It’s never too late to become Brown Butter, Poe.”

“That’s very inspiring, Finn, thank you,” Poe laughed.

“I think, eventually, we should put something gluten-free on the menu, but there hasn’t been that much demand for it,” Finn thought aloud. “But do you have any ideas, before we get started?”

“Um. I like… cardamom?” Poe tried. “Maybe we could toss in some cardamom?”

Finn considered that for a moment. “That would probably add some lightness to the cookies, which is good, because they’re gonna be pretty rich,” he said, and Poe smiled slightly, a tint on his cheeks. “Let’s try it,” Finn grinned.

***

Poe slid across the kitchen floor in his socks while Finn sat at the table and scribbled something in his notebook.

“Hey, Finn, look—” he attempted a small jump as he slid and landed unevenly, throwing up his arms at the end for flare.

Finn looked up at him for a moment before he crumbled into laughter, the rare kind that echoed through the room and made Poe’s toes tingle. Poe beamed.

“What’s my score?”

“Perfect ten from me, but the Russian judge gave you a six,” Finn hiccuped.

Poe snapped. “Dang it!”

“You’ll get ‘em next time, tiger,” Finn said.

“I gotta work on my axels,” Poe said, “and my— lutzes,” he added, stomach leaping as he watched Finn dissolve into giggles again. “Hey, Finn,” he probed, and Finn shook his head. “Finn, look.”

“No,” Finn squeaked, giggles losing their volume as they became more intense.

“Finn, look at me,” he pressed, cheeks aching. “I have something super cool to show you, Finn.”

Finn took in a few deep breaths to steady himself and looked at Poe. Poe held out his arms for balance and hopped up, attempting to spin in midair, coming down after only a half turn. Finn let his head fall into the crook of his elbow, and Poe sat down on the other chair at the kitchen table and watched his shoulders shake. Head still down, Finn reached for Poe’s forearm and squeezed. Poe’s heart thudded and he gently laid his own hand on top of Finn’s for a moment. Finn sat up, glancing at their hands before taking his back with darkened cheeks.

“Okay, we have three batches,” Finn said quietly. “This is the one where we toasted the nuts and the butter together; the middle one is the regular recipe I came up with, and the third one is the one with the cardamom.”

“Do we have any coffee to taste them with?”

Finn blinked. “That’s why I hired ya, Dameron,” he said, getting up and turning on the electric kettle, grabbing his pour over coffee kit, a bag of coffee beans, and a manual grinder. Poe sat quietly and watched him go through the intricate process, completely enraptured. “This one has nice, chocolatey, nutty notes, so it’ll be a good combination.”

“Mm,” Poe agreed.

After a few minutes, Finn returned to his seat with two small, fresh cups of coffee, taking in the scent with a deep breath and closing his eyes. Poe did the same. When he opened them, he found Finn watching him with a soft smile. He smiled back. “What?” he asked.

Finn shook his head. “Nothing. Let’s try the one in the middle.”

***

“So, a combination of the first and third? The cardamom with the toasty buttery nut?” Finn confirmed, and Poe nodded. “What time is it?” he yawned.

Poe checked his phone. “Ten thirty.”

“Do you want to call it a night?” Finn asked, and, despite his exhaustion, Poe didn’t want to be anywhere else.

“What if we made the combination?” he tried. “Just to make sure it’s the best?”

Finn smiled and glanced around. “We’re out of hazelnuts,” he frowned, then paused. “There’s a twenty-four hour Target pretty close to here,” he ventured.

“I’m down if you’re down,” Poe said, and Finn stood up and tossed him his coat from the rack.

***

Poe pushed the cart while Finn matched his step. Christmas decorations seemed to have exploded all over the store; everywhere they looked, they saw reindeer, Santa, holly hanging from the aisle signs, candy in the end caps. Finn gazed around with the wonderment of a child and Poe almost jumped when he gasped suddenly and made a break for the candy end cap. Poe followed Finn’s gaze— he broke into laughter.

“Finn, honey, we already have mac and cheese candy canes at home,” he crooned, and Finn pouted.

“But, _Moooom,”_ he whined, and Poe giggled and bumped their shoulders together.

“Fine, you can have _one,”_ he conceded, and Finn grabbed a box and tossed it into the cart as if he were attempting a free throw.

“Okay,” Finn said, suddenly all business. “Hazelnuts… hazelnuts…”

“They’re probably in the baking aisle,” Poe reasoned.

Finn wagged an approving finger at him. “I like you, Dameron. You’re an idea man.”

The smile stayed plastered to Poe’s face as they made their way down the aisles. As he went, Finn would occasionally pause and toss something in the cart, something weird or funny or new, just to try it. Poe suddenly pictured them both as old men, doing this same thing. The idea made his heart settle in his chest. It made his smile widen.

They got home at eleven, and finished the last batch of cookies at midnight. They were scheduled to open the cafe together in four hours.

Finn’s yawn overtook his entire body. “We should call it a night.”

Poe nodded, blinking slowly. “Yep.”

Neither of them moved.

“Hey, I have an extra toothbrush if you just wanna sleep on the couch,” Finn said tiredly. “And we’re, like, the exact same size, so my pajamas will probably fit you. You can say no,” he added simply. “It’s fine if you don’t want to.”

“No, that actually sounds good,” Poe said. “Why waste time driving when we could sleep, y’know?”

Finn nodded, then jogged out of the kitchen and returned with clean, folded, flannel pajama pants and a sweatshirt, toothbrush perched on top of the pile. “Is this good?”

“That’s perfect.”

“You can use the bathroom first.”

Poe was so tired he couldn’t even feel giddy about staying the night at Finn’s house. He went through the motions of brushing his teeth and rinsing his face as if he were already asleep, pausing for a moment when his face was buried in the fluffy towel, tempted to fall asleep right there. When he exited the bathroom, hugging his arms to himself and feeling the soft fabric of the sweatshirt, Finn was on the other side of the door.

Finn stepped back to let him pass, then clawed gently at his sleeve when he was almost out of range. When Poe turned around, Finn brought him in for a hug, tight and warm and sleepy. “Thanks for your help,” Finn mumbled.

Poe smiled. Took a deep breath. “Anytime, Finn. Good night.”

Finn slowly let go of him. There was a beat of silence. “G’night, Poe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, gang, if ya liked this chapter, let me know! Comments are the highlight of my day.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	11. bakin' cookies 2: the reckoning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so the title is a little silly but I'll put a **tw here for a description of a panic attack.**
> 
> I'm so absolutely delighted with the comments you folks have been leaving on this story. You guys make my day. You're all so kind and wonderful. I appreciate you all so much.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this one.

“Poe.”

He opened his eyes suddenly and found Finn kneeling next to the couch. “Did I oversleep?” he whispered, voice not quite functional yet.

“No, I just wanted to get you up,” Finn murmured. He was still wearing his pajamas and his eyes were puffy with sleep, but his breath was minty fresh. “We need to get ready.”

Poe sat up. Stretched. “Jesus, that couch is comfy,” he groaned. “I fell asleep, like, instantly.”

“I’m glad,” Finn smiled. He stood up and held out his hand. Poe grasped it and hoisted himself to his feet, trudging into the bathroom. When he came back out, a small stack of clothing for the day was perched on the arm of the couch. He picked it up with fumbling fingers and retreated into the bathroom again.

As he was changing, he paused. Slowly, he brought the sweater Finn had laid out for him up to his face and smelled it, already blushing at the action. This was a weird thing to do, right? This was weird.

It smelled like Finn. It made him smile.

It was only once he pulled the sweater on that he noticed the color— it was the mustard yellow one Finn had been wearing when they first met. He wondered if Finn remembered that, or if this had just been a random choice.

When he came out of the bathroom again, Finn was fully dressed and pulling on his work shoes. “Ready?” Finn asked, straightening up and wiggling his foot deeper into his shoe. He was wearing a deep red cardigan over a blue turtleneck.

Poe nodded and trotted over to put his shoes on. “You look cozy.”

“Thank you,” Finn yawned. “You do too.”

***

The bell on the door clanged and Poe jumped, looking up from the drink he was making.

“Where’s my boyfriend!” Nick said loudly, a friendly grin on his face. “Where’s my lover!”

Poe blinked. “He’s washing dishes,” he managed, glancing at the swinging door that led to the back. Finn pushed it open from the other side and looked at Nick exasperatedly.

“Dude, there’s kids over there,” Finn muttered as Nick brought him in for a dramatic kiss.

Poe focused on his drink again.

“Nick— just— come in the back, people are working,” Finn said, sparing a glance at Poe before he led Nick into the back room.

Poe finished the drink and handed it to the waiting customer with a smile, then paused for a moment and checked the ice bin. It wasn’t _quite_ full.

It could use a few scoops.

Peering at the front door to make sure no one was coming in, Poe ducked into the back and hurried to the ice machine. Nick was leaning into Finn and his hand was resting on Finn’s waist. Finn’s shoulders were tight. Poe tried not to look.

“Why not?” Nick asked.

Poe’s ears perked up.

“I’m just tired, babe, we were up all night,” Finn replied quietly.

Nick straightened up. “Who?” Poe’s cheeks flushed as Nick turned to him with an easy smile. “Poe, who was this bozo up all night with?”

“Oh,” Poe said. “Um, me.”

Nick frowned. “What were you doing?”

“We were baking,” Finn said. Nick glanced at him, his frown softening slightly.

“Baking?”

“Yeah, we were baking cookies for the cafe,” Poe jumped in.

His frown returned. “I didn’t see no cookies out there.”

“Yeah, I have to bulk order the ingredients,” Finn explained. “We’re introducing them next week.”

“Huh.” Nick nodded. “Aight. Aight. That checks out. Just don’t want this handsome devil stealin’ my man,” he laughed. He grinned at Poe for a second, then froze. His smile slipped. “Isn’t that your sweater, Finn?”

Poe looked down at his— Finn’s— sweater. “Oh, it’s— I just needed something to wear.”

Nick tilted his head. Turned to Finn questioningly. “He needed something to wear?”

“Yeah, he spent the night,” Finn said. “On the couch,” he added quickly. “He spent the night on the couch.”

“Okay,” Nick said. “Okay. You can see how this looks from my angle, right?”

“Nothing happened, man, truly,” Poe said, and Nick seemed to grow taller somehow. The ice scoop hung limply at Poe’s side.

“Nick, babe, c’mon,” Finn chuckled nervously. His hand drifted to Nick’s arm. “He slept on the couch. It was easier than driving him home.”

Nick glanced at Finn’s hand and knit his eyebrows. “I’m not gonna fuckin’ fight him, Finn, Jesus,” he said. “I’m just a little confused, I got a curious fuckin’ spirit, you know me. I like to learn.” He looked at Poe. “Paint me a picture, Poe.”

“Thought you were a math teacher,” Poe tried, and Nick broke into too-loud laughter.

“Look at this guy! He’s got fuckin’ jokes!”

Finn tried to smile. It vanished quickly. “Nick, let’s just go to lunch, okay? I’m feeling better. Let’s go.”

Nick didn’t move. He smiled at Poe, waiting.

Poe sighed. He peeked out the door to check for customers at the register, then returned. “Okay. We baked cookies together at Finn’s house after work. We finished at like midnight, and there was no point in him driving me home, because he’d just have to come back like two hours later. So he gave me some clothes and I slept on the couch. That’s it, man, that’s the picture.”

“Why don’t you have a car? Aren’t you fuckin’, like, thirty?”

He looked at Nick steadily. “Just trust your fucking boyfriend, dude.”

Nick looked steadily back. “I trust him, Poe.”

There was a stretch of silence. Poe turned his attention back to the ice machine, his face a deep shade of red. He brought the bucket out to the front, door swinging behind him.

There was a customer milling by the register. He forced a smile as he set the bucket on the counter.

Coffee made, customer settling down at a table, Poe poured out the contents of the ice bucket and paused, bouncing on his feet a few times, before returning to the back room. As he hung up the bucket, his eyes drifted from Finn’s apron, crumpled on the desk, to Finn pulling on his coat, to Nick waiting with his hands stuffed in his pockets. Nick looked at Poe and, despite every instinct telling him to look away, Poe stared back.

“We’re going to lunch,” Finn said. “I’ll be back in an hour.”

Poe blinked. He’d never heard Finn’s voice like that before. It was so cold. It worried him. “Are you sure?”

Nick huffed out a laugh. “He’s sure, man.”

“You speak for him?” Poe said coldly.

“I’m fine.” Finn adjusted his collar. “Will you be okay here on your own?”

Poe nodded slowly. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

Finn walked briskly out the door without a glance backwards. Nick followed him.

Poe stood still as they walked past him, then followed through the door. He busied himself with the espresso machine until he heard the door jingle.

***

Finn came back an hour later, alone. Poe lingered on him as he talked to a customer. His eyes looked puffy and red.

“Yeah, they’ll… be perfect with your mochas, Brent, you’re gonna love ‘em,” he said as Finn went into the back, head bowed.

Poe began to worry after a few minutes when Finn hadn’t come back out. After the short line of customers had dispersed, he pushed the door open gently.

“Finn?”

Finn was leaning against the milk fridge, head in his hands. He glanced at Poe and wiped at his cheeks, then his face screwed up again and more tears fell.

Poe watched him quietly. “Did you guys… break up?”

Finn shook his head. “No, we’re— we’re fine.”

Poe shifted his weight. “Why are you crying?”

“I don’t—” Finn took a few breaths in an attempt to calm down. It seemed to do the opposite. “I don’t know,” he said desperately, his voice breaking. His breaths were quick and shallow.

Poe took a step closer. Finn stepped away.

“Sorry,” Poe said quietly. “I— sorry.”

Finn shook his head. “I’m— I don’t know why I’m— oh my god, I can’t—” He slid to the floor, breaths tearing at him.

The front door jingled.

_“Fuck,”_ Poe breathed. “Fuck, man, should I—”

“Go help,” Finn gasped. “Go.”

Poe ran back to the register. “What can I get you?” Two girls, about thirteen years old, stared up at the menu blankly. Poe’s heart hammered. “How about some hot chocolates?” he suggested.

They looked at him.

“Hot chocolates?” he nodded. “Cool, that’ll be $6.50.”

“We’re separate,” one of them said, and he sighed.

“$3.25, then,” he amended. They each handed him exact change. He couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “Great.”

When they were finally gone, he dashed back to Finn, who was still on the floor, still gasping for breath. He sat down next to him.

“Finn, hey, just follow what I’m doing,” he murmured, taking exaggerated deep breaths. “Just copy me.”

Finn searched for Poe’s hand and gripped it tightly. He looked in Poe’s direction but didn’t make eye contact. Poe kept breathing. Finn tried to do the same.

“You’re safe, Finn.” Poe squeezed his hand. “Feel that? You’re okay.”

He took even, deep breaths, creating a rhythm, knuckles white from Finn’s grip.

“I’m sorry,” Finn mouthed, unable to make a sound.

“Don’t apologize,” Poe said. “Just breathe with me, okay?”

Finn leaned his head back against the fridge, staring up at the fluorescent light. Slowly, eventually, his breaths started to match Poe’s.

“I’m sorry,” he said again, throat still tight, voice still weak. “That was— I— that was weird.” He closed his mouth and tried to breathe through his nose, taking the air into his lungs haltingly.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

Finn shook his head.

“Okay,” Poe said. “That’s fine. Do you want to go home?”

He shook his head again. “I don’t wanna be— I don’t wanna be alone.” Tears overflowed again.

“That’s fine, buddy, you’re not alone, I’m here, okay?”

He knit his eyebrows, a desperate look overtaking him as more tears fell. “Okay,” he breathed.

The door jingled again.

Poe swore. “We should— can we just—”

Finn shook his head. “We can’t close. I’m just being stupid. I’m fine.”

Poe frowned at him. “You’re not stupid. Don’t say that.”

He gave the slightest smile. “I’m fine, Poe. Go get the customer.”

Poe stood up hesitantly, then walked briskly back to the register. His heart had calmed a little, but his smile was still forced. “Hey, Lisa,” he said. “The usual?”

The nurse smiled and nodded. “Where’s Finn today?”

“He’s taking a break,” Poe said. “$4.25.”

Lisa swiped her card and Poe made her drink. To his chagrin, two more customers walked through the door as she was leaving. He swore under his breath, maintaining his labored smile.

Finally, after fifteen minutes, he could join Finn again. When he returned, Finn was standing up, hugging his arms to himself. Tears still flowing freely.

To Poe’s surprise, anger flared in his stomach. “What did he do to you?”

Finn glanced at him. “Nothing. He didn’t do anything, Poe, really.”

“He didn’t hit you or anything?” Poe asked. The mere thought of it made him nauseous.

Finn knit his eyebrows. Shook his head. “He would never do that. You don’t have to worry about that. I just—” Finn swallowed. Closed his eyes. “I just got scared.”

“He scared you?”

“No, not like— like that,” Finn said. “It’s— he’s the only one I have. Alex and Li are both gone. He’s the only person who knew them. If I lost him, I don’t know what I’d—” his breath was sharp again.

“Hey,” Poe said gently. “You’re not gonna lose him. You’re not, Finn.” He took a hesitant step toward him and Finn closed the gap, wrapping his arms around Poe’s waist and pressing his nose to his sweater. Poe hugged him back, hand running gently through his soft hair.

“We were sitting there fighting, and the entire time, I was, like… looking at his face, trying to memorize it in case I never saw him again,” he said. “Isn’t that fucked up?”

“I think it’s… natural, after what you’ve gone through,” Poe said.

Finn sniffled. “This is so stupid,” he whispered. “I’m so fucking pathetic.”

“You’re not pathetic, Finn.”

“I am,” he insisted. “Losing my shit like this over a dumb fight with my boyfriend.”

“That was my fault,” Poe murmured. “I made him mad. I should have just minded my fucking business.”

“He shouldn’t have gotten mad in the first place. I’ve never seen him that— that jealous before. He’s never like that.”

Poe nodded. “Yeah, I don’t think he likes me anymore.”

“Too fucking bad,” Finn muttered. “I love you.” Poe’s heart stopped beating. He felt Finn’s shoulders stiffen. “I mean, like—”

“No, I— I know,” Poe said quietly. “I know, Finn. I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If ya liked this chapter, leave a comment! Truly, nothing makes me happier than a good ol' comment.
> 
> Thank you for reading. It means so much to me.


	12. same old lang syne

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back. I hope you like this one.
> 
> I also hope you folks are having a wonderful week.

The cafe was dimly lit, spotlessly clean, ready to be closed the next day. Finn and Poe faced each other, bouncing on their toes, hands behind their backs.

“Ready?”

Finn grinned. “Ready.”

“Okay, three, two, one—”

They revealed the presents they’d been hiding, both encased in shoddy wrapping paper with too much tape. Poe chuckled.

“I thought you’d be better than me at this.”

“First of all, how dare you,” Finn laughed as they exchanged the gifts. He tilted his head and brought the thin box up to his ear, shaking it a little. “Sounds like a CD jiggling around in there,” he mused. “Is it Hilary Duff’s ‘Metamorphosis?’”

Poe sputtered into a laugh. “How did you know!”

Finn giggled and started to open the package with some difficulty; it appeared that Poe had used an entire roll of tape in the wrapping process. Poe grew quiet as he watched, stomach beginning to bubble with nerves. Finally, Finn tore into the paper, nearly dropping the present but recovering smoothly. His smile faded as he looked at the simple CD covered in Poe’s scribbling handwriting.

“Oh my— wow,” Finn mustered.

“It’s, um,” Poe began quietly. “It’s— I recorded a few songs for you.” Finn silently popped open the case and took out the disc, looking closer at the titles. “The quality isn’t that great, it’s a little echoey— I did it in my living room on my laptop.” He waited a moment. Finn didn’t say anything. “I hope you like it, I— I think you will, it’s okay if you don’t,” he rushed. “Purely for educational purposes, of course.” His voice faded away when Finn looked at him.

“Poe, this is the nicest gift I’ve ever—” He huffed. “Thank you.”

Poe’s face felt hot. “You’re welcome, Finn.”

Finn swallowed hard. “Okay, open yours.”

Poe began to tear into his gift, a tiny cube that weighed almost nothing. It was easier to open than Finn’s had been. “Okay, maybe you are better than me at this,” he chuckled. He shimmied off the lid and stared at the contents inside. A small, intricate enamel pin; intertwining letters that looked like the roots of a tree.

_Assistant Manager._

He looked up. “Are you serious?”

Finn nodded. “It’s really not a whole lot, but— y’know, it’ll come with a little more money, and you wouldn’t be doing anything different than what you’re doing right now. You’re pretty much already there. Compared to what you gave me, it feels a little stupid, but— yeah.” He gave Poe a small smile.

Poe’s eyes flicked down to Finn’s mouth and he pursed his lips. He brought Finn in for a hug. “Thank you.”

Finn nodded. “Yeah, of— of course.” His hands settled on Poe’s shoulder blades, then, after a moment, drifted down to his waist. He let out a sigh and pressed his forehead to Poe’s shoulder. “Of course, Poe.”

That old feeling came back; the fluttering one that Finn’s voice sometimes made him feel. “I kind of wish we were open tomorrow,” he chuckled quietly. His fingers drew small circles on the back of Finn’s neck; he could feel goosebumps waking up there.

Finn shuddered slightly. “I can talk to the owner,” he murmured.

Poe smiled. Shook his head. “My dad would kill me.”

“Yeah,” Finn whispered. He let go of Poe and took a step back. He wore a sad smile. “Nick says his mom is a really good cook. So that’ll be nice.”

“When’s your flight?”

Finn rubbed his eyes. “Like four in the fuckin’ morning,” he groaned. “I haven’t even started packing yet.”

Poe watched him carefully. “Are you sure you don’t wanna come over to my dad’s place instead? It smells like cigarettes, but it’s pretty cozy.”

Finn smiled. “It’s too late to refund the ticket.”

Poe knit his eyebrows. “Do you even want to go?” he asked quietly.

“It’ll be good,” Finn nodded. “It’ll be good to see his family again. In a happier context. Y’know.”

“Yeah.”

“And it’s only, like, a day and a half. I’ll be fine.” There was a beat of silence. “I’ll drive you home.”

***

He went in without knocking, absently taking in a deep breath. Cigarettes and stale coffee. It smelled like home.

Well, halfway home. It was missing the chocolate and cinnamon sugar. It was missing his mother.

“Pop?”

His father’s voice echoed from the basement. “Yeah!”

Poe set down his bag and cracked his back, the bright lights of the Christmas tree in the darkness making him blink. Footsteps padded up the stairs and Poe sat on the floor, examining the modest pile of gifts under the tree.

“Aren’t you a little old for that?”

He smiled and stood up. “Just scoping things out, Pop. Gotta be ready.”

Kes was shorter than him, with salt and pepper hair. No matter the time of year, he always wore a Hawaiian shirt and cargo shorts, and Christmas was no exception. Poe had gotten every feature from his mother except his nose; his nose was his father’s. Kes hugged him briefly and tightly; too tight and too brief. When he let him go, he immediately walked into the kitchen, expecting Poe to follow.

He did.

“You propose to Rey yet?”

Poe blew out his cheeks. “That was quick.”

“Are you kidding? Eight years ain’t quick.” Kes took the appetizers out of the freezer and preheated the oven.

“That ship’s sailed, Dad.”

Kes sighed. A box of crab rangoon toppled out of the stack in his hands and thudded to the floor. “I always liked her.” He dumped the other boxes on the counter and stooped down for the crab rangoon. “She was a good kid,” he grunted, knees creaking on his way back up.

“I know, Pops,” Poe sighed. He chuckled. “You remember when she lit the tree on fire the first year without Mom?”

His dad laughed. “Your mom always watered the tree— I forgot that year.”

“It didn’t stand a chance,” Poe smiled. “Power surge, broken fuse, not a chance.”

“She always reminded me of her,” Kes said. Poe nodded. Kes looked at him for a moment. “Your bus ride was good?”

He shrugged. “Fine,” he said. “There was this guy listening to his music out loud the entire time.”

“Was it good music?”

“Obviously not.”

Poe’s father chuckled. _“Obviously not,”_ he repeated. “Watch that attitude, kid.”

Poe grinned. “Yessir.”

Kes clasped his hands together. “Time for the movie?”

Poe stood up. “Ready when you are.”

***

Stacks of empty plates sat before them on the coffee table, along with several bottles of beer on either side. On the small TV screen, Bill Murray was talking to the theater audience at the end of _Scrooged._

“Alright, how bout just the men? C’mon, just the men,” Bill Murray prompted. He waited a moment. “Alright, the _real_ men, let’s hear the _real_ men.”

Poe hummed along with the music and looked over at his father, knowing he would find tears streaming down his face.

“Alright, alright, alright, the women! The women now this time,” Bill Murray said.

Kes smiled. “First date your mother and I ever went on,” he said, wiping his cheek absently.

Poe nodded, a small smile on his face. “I know, Pop.”

“I was halfway out the door and she pulled me back so we could sing together. I’ll never forget that.” He glanced at his son. “She never skipped the credits.”

Poe’s eyes stung. “Yeah, I know,” he said quietly.

“I just,” Kes started, clearing his throat, “I just want that for you,” he said. “I want you to love someone as much as I love your mom.”

A tear escaped and Poe wiped it away. “Yeah, I know, Dad.” His voice was thin. “I want that, too.”

Kes nodded slowly. “And that person’s not Rey?”

He smiled. Shook his head. “Sorry, Dad.”

“Well, nothin’ I can do,” he sighed. “And there’s no one else?” He searched Poe’s eyes. “Look, I— I know I don’t talk too much about it, but it doesn’t matter— y’know. It don’t matter if it’s a girl or a guy, kid. I just want you to be as happy as your mom made me.”

Poe’s mouth twitched. “I know, Dad.”

Kes kept his eyes on him. “And I don’t know if I’m off base here, but if there is somebody, you tell ‘em. You hear me?”

Poe knit his eyebrows. “Okay.”

“You don’t waste any time, because you’ll never get that back, Poe. You got it?”

He nodded slowly. “Yeah. Yes, sir.”

***

After a day full of small presents and more classic movies, Kes pulled up outside of Poe’s house. “You sure you can’t stay another night?”

“Yeah, I gotta open the cafe in the morning,” Poe yawned. “Gotta get to sleep.”

His father nodded. “I know I say this all the time, but you need to visit more often, kid. I’m a lonely old man.”

Poe nodded. “Yessir, I will.” He paused. “You should come by the cafe sometime, I think you’d like it.”

Kes smiled. “I think I would, too.” He leaned over and hugged Poe too tightly again, but this time, he gave Poe enough time to hug him, too. He clapped his son on the back and then returned behind the wheel. “Merry Christmas, Poe.”

Poe hugged him again, briefly and tightly. “I love you, Dad.”

Kes’s eyes shone. “I love you too, kid.” Poe stepped out of the car. “You got your stuff?” Kes asked.

“Got it,” Poe said, patting his bag. “Merry Christmas, Pops.”

***

He was in the middle of making the new cookies, humming to himself, when he heard footsteps behind him. He whipped around, gripping his spatula tightly, and blinked.

“Finn?” He frowned. He set down the spatula. “What are you doing back?”

Finn looked tired. “I came home early,” he murmured.

“Are you okay?”

He shrugged. “I’ve had better Christmases, I suppose.” He walked over to the desk chair and plopped down, pushing his suitcase away roughly with his foot.

Poe knit his eyebrows. He knelt down in front of Finn, searching his eyes. “Are you drunk?”

“I believe so.”

Poe’s heart thudded. “Did you drive here?”

Finn shook his head. “I took a cab.”

“Your car is at the airport?”

“That would make sense,” Finn agreed.

Poe looked at him for a moment, then stood up. He held out his hand. “C’mon.”

“Where am I going?”

“We’re gonna get a cab back to the airport, and I’m gonna drive you home.”

Finn shook his head again. “You can’t drive.”

“Yeah, I can. C’mon.”

“You need to open the cafe,” Finn argued dully. “You can’t leave.”

“Well, I’ve recently been promoted,” Poe said flatly. “So I’ve decided to open an hour later today.” He beckoned again with his hand.

Finn stared at it for a moment, then he gripped it tightly. He struggled to his feet, swaying a little as he straightened up. He kept ahold of it and waited for Poe to guide him away.

Poe watched him for a moment, then grabbed his suitcase and led him through the swinging door, pausing to activate the alarm; he took him through the cafe, past the chairs stacked on the tables, and out the front door, bells jingling lightly.

“Like Christmas,” Finn murmured.

“Yeah, Finn, like Christmas,” Poe said. He locked the door and leaned slightly into the road, holding out his arm to hail a cab. Within a minute, a small, rickety yellow taxi pulled over for them.

The driver leaned back in his seat, taking in Finn’s demeanor. “This guy drunk?”

“No,” Poe said.

“Yeah,” Finn said simultaneously.

Poe sighed. “He’s fine. C’mon, Finn,” he said quietly, guiding him gently into the back seat, making sure not to hit his head on the door frame.

“I’m fine,” Finn agreed distantly. Poe slid in next to him.

“Republic International,” Poe said, and the taxi pulled back onto the road.

He looked at Finn, whose head was swaying slightly with the movement of the car, eyes closed. He ached to ask him what had happened; he felt like he had a pretty good idea, but he didn’t want to assume anything.

“I’m sorry,” Finn said quietly.

“For what?”

Finn shrugged. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Finn,” he said. “You’re gonna be okay.”

Finn leaned into him, resting his head on Poe’s shoulder. Poe let his eyes drift shut and stayed like that for the rest of the cab ride.

***

Finn was holding his hand again.

“Do you remember where you parked?” Poe asked, already losing hope.

Finn thought hard, completely silent, for about a minute. “2A.”

Poe blinked. “Really?”

Finn nodded. “2A.”

Poe looked up at the parking lot signs; they were in section 4D. “Okay, buddy, we’re gonna have to walk, c’mon,” he said, draping Finn’s arm over his shoulders.

“I’m sorry,” Finn murmured again.

“You don’t have to apologize, Finn, just keep walking, okay?”

“Okay,” he said. “Sorry.”

Poe sighed.

After what felt like hours, but was probably only about fifteen minutes, Poe spotted Finn’s car. “Here we go, Finn— shit, you have your keys, right?”

Finn fumbled in his breast pocket for a moment and gave up. “I can’t get ‘em.”

Poe tentatively reached into the pocket himself and brought out the keys, clicking the unlock button. The car clucked.

He carefully guided Finn into the back seat. “Alright, Finn, just lay down,” he said softly. “We’re almost home.” He put Finn’s suitcase in the trunk.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he murmured. He slid into the driver’s seat and turned the key decisively.

***

Finn leaned on him heavily as they went up the stairs; Poe grunted as he hoisted the suitcase up each step. “Jesus, man, how long did you think this trip was gonna be?” Poe tried, attempting to smile.

“Sorry,” Finn said.

Poe stared at him for a second before moving on. “Don’t worry about it.”

The pleasant smell of Finn’s apartment replaced the dank smell of the staircase and Poe felt immediate relief. “Let’s get you to bed, okay?”

“Okay,” Finn said. Poe helped him onto the mattress, then gently slid off his shoes.

“Will you be okay here on your own?” Poe asked, kneeling down next to Finn and adjusting his pillow.

“I’m okay,” Finn whispered. “Thank you.” He wrapped a sluggish arm around Poe’s shoulders and brought him in close. Poe hugged him back.

After a moment, he straightened up. “Call me if you need me,” he said. “I’ll be at Sunrise.”

Finn nodded slowly, eyes already drifting shut. “Okay.”

Poe turned to leave.

“Poe,” Finn whispered again.

He turned back. Waited.

“I think I’m in love with you,” Finn murmured. “I’m sorry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ Here's the song this chapter is named after](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ik2zEZmEJSA); it's my favorite Christmas song and I think it fits the tone nicely. The lyrics are so sweet and sad.
> 
> Let me know your thoughts! If you feel like it, leave a comment.  
> Thank you for reading.


	13. at the tone, please leave a message

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A million thank yous to all the wonderful folks who have commented on this and made my day. I truly appreciate you all so much.

It felt like his head was swelling with each beat of his heart. His stomach rumbled, but the thought of eating something made him want to throw up. His tongue was spongy and dry.

Slowly, he sat up and his feet found purchase on the hardwood. His shoes were at the end of the bed; he frowned at them. Then his stomach started to heave and he dashed into the bathroom.

When he was done, after staring miserably into the toilet bowl for a moment, he tried to take a shower; he quickly gave up on that and took a bath instead. He brushed his teeth, the sun catching his eye through the window. It looked orange. It was too low in the sky.

“Jesus,” he muttered.

He filled up his water bottle, drank the entire thing, then filled it up again. Peered down at it.

Drank the entire thing again.

“Jesus.”

He padded back into his bedroom and plopped back onto the mattress, glancing over at his phone, which was face down on the side table. He picked it up with a sigh.

Two voicemails from Poe. He looked at the screen with bleary eyes. Then he tapped on a different name.

It went straight to voicemail.

“What up, it’s Garcia, you just missed me, leave a message.” 

Finn closed his eyes and listened to a different, tinny voice echoing from far away at the end of the message, then the confused scuffling of a phone dropping. The sound of quiet laughter as it was picked back up. Then the cut to silence as the recording ended.

He hung up as the beep sounded. Breathed a heavy sigh. Took another sip of water.

Then he tapped on Poe’s first message.

“Hey, Finn, I was just checking up. You’re probably sleeping. I’ll let you sleep, I guess. Call me when you wake up.” There was a brief pause. “It’s Poe. Bye.”

He chuckled for a moment, then frowned. He craned his neck to look out his window; his car was in the driveway.

How the hell did he get home?

He remembered… asking the flight attendant for a gin and tonic. And then quite a few more. Grabbing the wrong suitcase from the baggage claim. Getting yelled at by its owner. Grabbing the right suitcase. He remembered being at Sunrise. Gripping Poe’s hand as he helped him up…

He knit his eyebrows. He remembered leaning on Poe’s shoulder in a car. A taxi? And then laying down in the back seat of a different car. His car. He remembered Poe’s smoothe voice, saying he would be okay.

And then… being in his bed. Hugging Poe.

His frown disappeared, replaced with a blank stare. His mouth hung open. “Oh my f… oh my god,” he breathed. He tapped on Poe’s second message.

“Hey, it’s me. It’s, like— four in the afternoon?” A shuffle and a pause. “Yeah. Four. Uh, I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. I guess I don’t know how long people usually need to sleep for.” Another pause. “Um. Yeah. Call me back, though. Okay? Bye.”

Finn looked at his clock— it was 5:30. He went to tap on Poe’s name but hesitated.

Had he actually said… what he thought he’d said? Had that actually happened?

He held his breath and pressed Poe’s name decisively. Held the phone up to his ear.

It rang for a while, then went to voicemail. He swore under his breath and hung up, tapping his foot on the floor. Poe was probably starting to wash dishes. Probably starting to clean up. He probably just didn’t see the call.

Finn called the number of the cafe and waited, picking at the seam of his sleeve.

“Sunrise Cafe, this is Poe.”

Finn’s breath caught.

“Hello?” Poe tried.

“Hey,” he said quietly.

“Finn? Hey, how do you feel? Sorry, one moment, ma’am,” Poe added quietly, taking the phone away from his face. “Are you okay?” he said to Finn.

Finn blushed. “Did you drive me home?”

“Yeah, I— one second, ma’am,” Poe said, voice a little curt. “Yeah, I did,” he finished, softer to Finn.

“I didn’t know you could drive,” Finn said.

“I’m a man of many talents,” Poe said. Finn could hear his smile. “I _am_ the manager,” he said harshly to the customer. “I’ll be with you in a moment. Okay?” There was a shuffling as Poe took the phone into the back room.

“You should help the customer,” Finn said.

“It’s that fucking Susan lady again, it’s fine,” Poe muttered. “How do you feel?” he asked again.

“Pretty shitty,” Finn said.

“Yeah, you were— you seemed… y’know. A little out of it.”

“I was,” Finn said, attempting a chuckle. There was a long stretch of silence. Finn squeezed his eyes shut. “Um—”

“Can I bring you some dinner?” Poe asked. “Miriam gave me some frozen soup left over from Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur or something. I told her you were sick. It’ll help you feel better.”

As if on cue, his stomach rumbled again. “Yeah, I’m pretty hungry,” he admitted.

“Okay, good,” Poe said softly. “Um, and I wanted to— ma’am, you can’t come back here,” he said suddenly. “I have to go, Finn, I’ll see you later.” The phone clicked.

Finn blinked and looked down at his screen. His stomach roiled with nerves rather than hunger and his head pounded again. He chugged some more water and opened his side drawer, shaking a few ibuprofen pills out of a small bottle and swallowing them thickly.

***

_-Update._

_He called the cafe_

_-What did he say?_

_He just asked me if i drove him home_

_-What did you say?_

_I said I drove him home_

_-Okay, yes, but did you say anything of value?_

_I’m not gonna tell him I love him over the phone that would be dumb_

_-Yes, much dumber than a drunken early morning confession where you fall asleep immediately afterwards._

_We’re moving past that, it happens to the best of us  
I’m bringing him soup_

_-Nice.  
-And then you’re gonna tell him._

_I don’t know. He might not even remember what he said_

_-It’s now or never, bud._

_Fuck dude_

_-That’s exactly what you’re gonna do, kid_

_Fuck you_

_-No thanks_

Poe cracked a short-lived smile, then put his phone away and glanced down at the stack of ten dollar bills in his hand.

“Fuck.”

He began to count them again.

***

Finn sat on the edge of the couch cushion and stared down at his laptop, trying to pay attention to _Ratatouille._ He gripped a steaming mug of tea and breathed the fumes in deeply. A blanket was draped over his shoulders, the fringe along the edge tickling his cheek. Eventually, the guilt over not paying proper attention to his favorite movie made him press the pause button. Remy deserved better.

He sat in silence for a long time, nursing his cup of tea, and jumped at the sound of footsteps in the stairwell.

He met Poe at the door, blanket still wrapped around him.

Poe’s eyes drifted down as he took in his appearance with a small smile. “Hi.”

“Hi.” He stepped aside to let Poe in. “How was work?”

Poe glanced at him. “It was fine,” he said. “Can I put this on the stove?” he asked, holding up a container of soup.

“Yeah, here,” Finn said, leading him into the kitchen and taking out a pot.

“Thanks,” Poe said quietly. He turned on the burner. Finn watched him for a moment.

“Did you kill Susan?”

Poe chuckled. “Almost. It was a close one.” He peered into the living room. “Watching _Ratatouille,_ I see.”

“Not really,” Finn said, shaking his head. “I thought it would make me feel better.”

Poe looked at him. Set the lid on the pot and turned up the heat slightly. Sat down at the table. “What happened, Finn?”

Finn bit the inside of his cheek. “I broke up with Nick.” His eyes widened and he sat down across from Poe. He shrugged off his blanket.

Poe nodded slowly. “I’d sorta figured.”

“Yeah. Um… It was a long time coming. You could probably tell.”

Poe hesitated. Nodded. “How do you feel?”

He blinked. “Kinda numb, I guess.”

“Was it… did you leave on good terms?”

“I told him—” Finn’s eyes filled with tears. He blinked again. “I told him I wanted to be friends. I said I thought we were better as friends.”

“What did he say?”

“He didn’t say much. He just told me to leave.”

“Was he mad?”

“I think he was embarrassed.”

Finn found Poe watching him. “You seem a lot calmer than I… than I expected.”

“Oh, I had a panic attack at the airport when I was trying to change my flight,” He assured him, attempting to smile. Poe took his hand. He blushed. “Might fuck around and have another,” he said, and Poe cracked a smile. “Haven’t decided.”

Poe’s thumb glided over the back of his hand. He watched as Poe stood up, stirred the soup, and joined him again at the table, immediately taking hold of his hand again.

Finn stared at their hands. The tears overflowed. “I think I really fucked up,” he whispered. “I don’t think I’m ever gonna see him again.” He glanced at Poe. “What if he—” He cut himself off.

Poe squeezed his hand. “Finn, you were friends for a long time. You’ve been through a lot together. Stuff like that doesn’t just go away.”

“It does, though,” he said, wiping his face roughly with his sleeve. “It happens all the time, Poe. People break up and never see each other again.”

“But you’re different,” Poe insisted gently. “You had Alex and Li. You wouldn’t give up on each other because of something like this. You’re gonna hang on to each other.”

Finn’s face screwed up and he let out a sob. “We should have just stayed friends,” he wavered. “We shouldn’t have— I shouldn’t have—” He buried his face in the crook of his elbow.

“Finn,” Poe said softly. Watching him made his own eyes sting. He wiped his nose and gave the soup another stir. Finn searched for his hand when he sat back down. Poe looked at him gently. “You’re both gonna be okay. You and Nick.”

“I have you,” Finn mumbled. “Nick doesn’t have anybody. I think he thought just being around me would be enough, and we wouldn’t have to talk about Alex or Li or the Army. We could just be together and understand each other. And I thought that, too, at the beginning.”

“If you want, I could… teach him the geetar,” Poe tried, and Finn chuckled weakly. “That might get him to open up,” he smiled.

Finn shook his head. “He’s not a big fan of yours,” he said. “Especially now.”

“What do you mean, especially now?”

Finn blinked. He looked at Poe for a long time, contemplating something. Poe didn’t break eye contact. His stomach was churning. Finally, Finn cleared his throat. “He thought I was breaking up with him so I could be with you,” he admitted quietly.

Poe kept his breathing steady as he looked at Finn. “Would he— was he— are—” He shook his head. Looked at Finn through his lashes. “Were you?”

Finn was silent for what felt like hours. Poe stood up and stirred the soup numbly while he waited, then returned to his seat.

“I… I think… everything that was missing… between me and Nick,” Finn said carefully, “I— I found it with you.” He pursed his lips.

Poe’s heart beat slow and hard. “Um, I’ve been— I’ve been thinking about this all day, so if it sounds a little rehearsed, that’s because it is,” he began. The corners of Finn’s mouth twitched. “So… I don’t know if you remember saying this this morning, but you said you thought you were in love with me.”

“Yeah, I… I remember.”

Poe nodded, avoiding Finn’s eyes. He spoke slowly. “I don’t drink a whole lot, so I’ve never made, y’know, a drunken confession. Maybe… you didn’t mean to say it, and maybe I shouldn’t have brought it up.” He swallowed. Knit his eyebrows. “But… I don’t want to waste time. I love you too.” He looked at Finn. “I’m in love with you. And I can wait, y’know, however long. Because you just broke up with your boyfriend, like, fuckin’ sixteen hours ago. And you probably need time. But I don’t want you to stress over what my answer might be, because my answer is yes.”

The lid on the pot began to tremble. Poe stood up and inspected the soup. “Dinner’s ready.”

***

The blanket was draped over them both as they lounged on the couch; _Ratatouille_ played softly from Finn’s computer. Poe was keenly aware of Finn’s head resting on his shoulder and the urge to drape an arm around him was almost debilitating.

If he did that, that wouldn’t exactly be waiting, would it.

“I listened to your CD on the flight there,” Finn said quietly.

A smile crept onto Poe’s face. “Did you like it?”

He nodded against Poe’s arm. “My favorite track is the second one,” he said. “I don’t remember what it’s called. ‘Tell Me Who You Love?’”

Poe thought. “‘Green, Green Rocky Road?’”

“Yeah,” Finn agreed, adjusting himself against Poe; his fingers brushed against Poe’s side and Poe closed his eyes briefly.

“That’s a good one,” he said.

“Nick asked me what I was listening to,” Finn said. “I didn’t want to show him.”

“Why not?”

Finn shrugged. “It felt like it was just mine,” he said. “I didn’t want to share.”

Poe smiled. “Well, I made it for you,” he reasoned.

“Mm,” Finn agreed. “It got kinda tense after that.”

“Oh. I’m— I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault,” Finn said. “I liked the— the soda cracker part,” he added with a smile. “I kept rewinding it.”

Poe chuckled. “I like that part, too.”

Finn was quiet for a while. “Nick was right.”

He knit his eyebrows. “About what?”

“About you,” Finn said. “About me and you.”

Poe looked down at him. His heart thrummed in his chest. “We didn’t do anything wrong, Finn.”

“Yeah, but I wanted to. I felt so guilty,” he admitted. Poe’s breath built up in his throat. Finn paused. “I always wonder what Alex would have thought of you.”

All of Poe’s breath released. He couldn’t help it; he wrapped his arm around Finn’s shoulders and brought him closer.

Finn settled against his chest. His breath warmed the fabric of his sweater.

“What was he like?”

Finn smiled. “He was a dick,” he chuckled. “Y’know those people who say they’re brutally honest, but really they’re just an asshole? He was like that,” he said. “Only he was… really needy, too. Like he needed to be loved. But only if he already loved you. If he didn’t like you, he didn’t give a shit about you.” Finn traced a finger in small circles on Poe’s stomach. Poe’s eyes fluttered shut again. “He’d been deployed before, so he was… not as scared as I was. He was probably pretending. I don’t know. But I looked up to him. He was like my big brother.”

Poe nodded slightly. “He and Li were close?”

“They were always together. Li was always quiet around us, but he was always making Alex laugh. Like, _real_ laughter. Like the way you make me laugh.”

Poe smiled.

“I always wondered what they were joking about,” Finn said softly. “I’ll never know, I guess.”

Poe squeezed Finn’s arm gently.

“Do you wanna hear them?”

Poe knit his eyebrows. “Sure,” he said uncertainly.

Finn shifted and reached into his back pocket, bringing out his phone. Poe watched the screen as Finn tapped on Alex’s contact name; he noticed that Finn had called him earlier that evening.

Finn put the phone on speaker.

“What up, it’s Garcia, you just missed me, leave a message.”

Finn held the phone up closer. “That voice in the background is Li.”

Poe smiled softly as he listened. “Alex has a good laugh.”

Finn nodded. “Yeah.” He settled back onto Poe’s chest, this time pressing his lips to the fabric before nestling in. Poe’s heart thumped.

He pressed his lips to the top of Finn’s head and kept them there, eyes closing again. Then, through some silent agreement, they both turned their attention back to the movie.

The next thing he knew, the end credits were playing. His eyes fluttered open and he blinked a few times. Finn was still resting on his chest.

“Finn,” he murmured.

“Mm,” Finn hummed.

“I fell asleep.”

“I know,” Finn smiled. “That’s okay.” He sat up and looked Poe intensely in the eyes. “Just promise me something, Poe.”

Poe knit his eyebrows. “Okay,” he mustered.

“Promise me you won’t ever say you were just resting your eyes when you were really sleeping,” Finn said earnestly, and Poe started laughing. Finn cracked a smile. “Promise me you won’t lie to me like that, Dameron.”

Poe’s smile made the corners of his eyes crinkle. “I promise, Finn.”

Finn grinned and wrapped an arm around Poe’s midsection, tucking himself in closer to him. His mouth rested against the crook of Poe’s neck.

Poe’s breath hitched.

“I should probably go,” he mumbled.

“What time is it?” Finn’s lips tickled against him.

He craned to look at Finn’s clock. “It’s ten,” he said.

Slowly, Finn’s warm hand drifted up to Poe’s jaw, thumb caressing his cheek. Poe’s eyes fluttered shut again. He swallowed. “Finn, I should go,” he whispered.

Finn paused. “Sorry. Yeah.” He straightened up, avoiding Poe’s eyes. “Yeah,” he said again. “I’ll drive you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Here's the song they were talking about,](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Q5m2DEf7ag) if you wanna listen to it. It's also in the spotify playlist I made.
> 
> Let me know your thoughts. Thank you for reading.


	14. limbo week

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, folks, these next couple of chapters coming out have been through quite a few drafts, hence the week-long wait. Apologies for that.
> 
> We're in the home stretch, folks; we got this chapter, the next chapter, and I'm planning an epilogue as well.
> 
> I really hope you enjoy this one.

“Welcome to the first ever Sunrise Cafe Trivia Night,” Poe said smoothly into the microphone. As soon as he began to speak, conversation died down and every eye was on him. “We’re glad we could get you to leave your house tonight— Christmas-New Years Limbo Week is tough on everyone. I’m your assistant manager, Poe Dameron,” he smiled. “Does everyone have their quiz sheet, and have they written a fun and creative team name at the top?” He looked out over a sea of nodding heads. “Should a tie occur, please note that we will decide the winner by measuring how hard Finn laughs at your team name.” He motioned to Finn, who flipped him off from behind the espresso bar. The crowd chuckled. “Please keep your team’s volume to a minimum as you contemplate the answers. We want to maintain the chill vibes in here, folks. Please put your phones away; we are not fond of cheaters. Aryeh is our bouncer tonight and he doesn’t hold back. Is everyone ready?” More nodding. “The first category is… world flags,” he soothed. “For five points: Which two countries, located in Africa and Europe respectively, have identical flags?”

Poe clicked his remote and ‘Islands in the Stream’ by Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton started playing from the speakers. “You have one minute,” he said. “Communication between teams is strictly prohibited,” he added calmly, already spotting some rule breaking in the corner.

He hummed along with the song and wandered behind the bar; leaned on the counter next to Finn. “How am I doing?”

Finn smiled. “Your presenter voice is very sexy.”

Poe’s cheeks tinted. “Yeah, I’m going for a sort of J. Peterman vibe.”

“I don’t know who that is, but it’s working,” Finn said.

“Elaine’s boss in _Seinfeld,”_ he explained.

“Ah, yes, the epitome of sexiness,” Finn said, rolling his eyes.

He smiled and brought the mic back up to his face. “You have twenty seconds,” he murmured in his sexiest J. Peterman voice, keeping his eyes on Finn. He meandered back into the sea of tables, leaving Finn blushing behind the counter. He clicked the remote and the song paused. “And your time is up. Our next question: for one point each, name as many countries in Africa as you can whose flags bear the three colors of red, green, and yellow.” He repeated the question. “You have one minute.”

‘Islands in the Stream’ resumed.

“Folks, I know trivia nights make me hungry, and nothing makes better brain food than our brown butter hazelnut chocolate chip cookies,” Poe advertised smoothly. “Make sure to treat yourselves to one tonight. They’re a dollar off when you buy them with a drink.”

Amidst the tables, he watched Finn with a smile as he took a customer’s order, handed them a cookie, and began to make their drink. Finn caught him staring and grinned. Poe met his gaze for a moment, eyes twinkling, before wandering through the crowd again, keeping his eyes out for cell phones.

He narrowed his eyes and walked back to the corner. “Let it be known,” he said into the microphone, “that the…” He checked their paper. “The Sexcretaries have received their first warning. Aryeh, keep an eye on these hooligans.”

Their tiny neighbor stationed himself close to the troublesome table with a hard expression.

Poe glanced back at Finn. “Let it also be known that the lack of laughter coming from the espresso bar does not bode well for the Sexcretaries, should they— against all odds— make it far enough for a tie breaker tonight,” he said to the crowd, and most of the tables, even the Sexcretaries, laughed. “Our next question is: Birds! Name a country with a bird featured in its flag. You have ten seconds.”

***

“Aryeh, next time you see those goddamn Sexcretaries, you kick their asses, okay?”

Aryeh chuckled. “Yes, sir. Good night to you both.”

The door jingled and they looked at each other, still beaming, before Finn set down his rag and leaned against the counter. “That was great! We made a huge profit. Even more than the open mics.”

“People love knowledge, Finn, what can I say,” Poe said smugly.

“They loved you,” Finn said, and Poe chuckled modestly. “They did,” he insisted. “They couldn’t look away.”

“It’s the J. Peterman vibe, man, I’m telling you,” Poe joked, and Finn smiled and shook his head.

“I think it’s just you. You’re really charismatic. It’s kind of amazing to watch.”

“Finn, I’m _blushing,”_ he said dramatically, starting to take apart the espresso machine. “I’ve gone _bright red,_ Finn.”

Finn watched him fondly. “What are you doing for New Years?”

“I just watch _The Twilight Zone_ every year and eat a bunch of seafood,” Poe said casually, although the question made his mind race. He glanced at Finn. “What do you usually do?”

“I used to watch _When Harry Met Sally_ with my grandma,” Finn replied. “But I haven’t done that in a few years. I think I’m gonna start doing that again.”

Poe nodded. “Do you time it so that Harry’s speech happens just after midnight, like in the movie?”

Finn tilted his head. “Y’know what? I’ve never done that before. That’s a good idea.”

“I’m full of ‘em, Finn,” Poe said, stacking dishes into the tray. “Stick with me, kid.”

Finn started to count the cash in the register. “Do you want to come over?” he asked evenly, eyes flicking to Poe.

Poe paused. “For New Years?”

“Yeah,” Finn said. “Witness the start of a new tradition.”

He looked at Finn longingly and sighed. “I don’t think I should.”

“Oh.” Finn looked down at the pennies in his hand and shook his head, starting to count them again. “That’s okay, dude, no problem.”

“I just—” Poe took in a breath. “I think we should wait, y’know, a little while.”

Finn nodded. “No, I understand. Really, it’s not a big deal.”

Poe’s face turned deep red and he took a load of dishes into the back. When he returned, he donned a chipper expression. “Maybe we could text each other while we watch, though,” he tried. “You could text me when funny things happen and I can text you when Twilight Zoney things happen.”

Finn cracked a smile. “Yeah. That’s a good idea.”

“Finn, I am _full_ of ‘em,” Poe emphasized.

Finn laughed. “You sure are, bud.”

***

Poe hunched over his guitar, biting his lip as he concentrated. He tested a chord and scribbled something in his notes, then pressed play again on his phone. He paused the song and began to fill in the chords on a piece of blank sheet music. The trace of a smile appeared on his lips as he worked and he sat back in his chair, looking out the window at the crisp moonlight. He took out his phone.

_The moon is really big tonight_

After a few seconds, the phone buzzed.

_-I was just looking at it. That’s a juicy moon._

Poe grinned.

_Whatcha doin?_

_-Making an apple pie with this old recipe I found from my grandma’s grandma or something  
-You?_

_Fucking around on the guitar  
How’s the pie?_

_-I don’t know yet. It’s in the oven. It smells really good though._

_I bet it’s gonna fuckin slap bro_

It took a couple minutes for Finn to text again.

_-Maybe I’ll bring you some tomorrow._

_Fuck yeah_

Another minute passed.

_-I kinda wish you were with me right now._

Poe stared at the text. His chest tightened. He typed carefully.

_I’d probably be resting my eyes pretty soon, i’d be no help_

_-Jesus. You’re gonna say that all the time now._

_Oh absolutely_

***

Poe hummed along with the music as he wiped down the counter, scrubbing a particularly stubborn patch of spilled syrup. The tables were mostly full; college kids working on projects, business people on their laptops, a few people snuggled up with books on the comfy chairs. He smiled to himself.

He squeezed his towel over the patch of syrup and left the pool there, planning to come back for it when it was dissolved, when the door jingled. He glanced up. His smile faded.

Nick walked up to the register, hands stuffed in his pockets. He was missing the gregarious laughter and goofy smile Poe was used to seeing.

Nick looked at him and adjusted his baseball cap. “Finn here?”

“Why?” Poe couldn’t keep the curt tone out of his voice. Nick noticed it and frowned.

“I wanna talk to him,” he said. His low voice murmured amidst the din of the cafe but somehow Poe could understand him perfectly; even though he was subdued, he still filled up the space.

Nick glanced at the swinging door that led to the back. Poe’s eyes flicked to it too.

“I’ll go see,” Poe said. He left Nick and went through the door.

Finn was baking a second batch of cookies for the day, a dirty towel draped over his shoulder; when he saw Poe, he smiled. The smile slipped when he saw the serious look on Poe’s face. “What’s wrong?”

“Nick is here,” Poe said quietly, stepping close to him. “He wants to talk to you. I didn’t tell him whether you were here or not.” He watched Finn carefully.

Finn looked at the door as though he could see through it, an anxious look in his eye.

“Do you want to talk to him?” Poe asked, keeping his voice to a soothing murmur. “If you don’t, I can tell him to fuck off.”

Finn shook his head slightly. “You don’t have to do that. I can talk to him.”

“Are you sure?” Poe thought back to the state Finn had been in the day after they’d baked cookies. Thought back to the day after Christmas.

He could tell Finn was thinking the same thing.

“I’m sure,” he said, slipping the towel off his shoulder and resting it on the table. “I’m okay.”

He took a deep breath and led Poe back to the front; Poe went behind the counter again and picked up his rag, but didn’t pretend to do anything with it. He watched Nick diligently.

Nick glanced at the two of them impassively before turning to Finn with a muted smile. “Hi.”

“Hi, Nick,” Finn greeted quietly. He focused on a button of Nick’s coat rather than his eyes.

“Can we talk?”

Finn nodded.

Nick looked relieved. “Can I take you to lunch?”

“I can’t leave, I have to work,” Finn said.

“Okay,” Nick conceded, adjusting his cap again. “That’s fine. It’s not gonna take long.”

Finn nodded again. “We can sit at a table.” He finally looked at Nick. “Do you want anything to drink?”

Poe smiled softly.

“Nah,” Nick said. “I’m good.”

Poe watched Finn lead Nick to a table in the corner, trying to ignore the bubbling nerves that had surfaced in his stomach.

They weren’t going to get back together. Poe knew that.

_But what if they get back together?_

He rolled his eyes at his own insecurity.

Finn’s back was to him, so he had to rely on Nick’s facial expressions to follow along with the mood of their conversation.

Nick met his eyes. Poe didn’t look down.

Nick looked at Finn again and said something. Finn glanced over his shoulder at Poe, smiling slightly.

Finn turned back to Nick. Shrugged his shoulders. Nodded.

Poe focused on cleaning the counters again, returning to the patch of syrup, which had dissolved in the soapy water. If he kept wondering what Finn and Nick were talking about he’d drive himself insane.

Finally, after about one million years (by Poe’s estimations), they stood up and hugged each other tightly, Nick hunching quite a bit to meet Finn’s height.

A few words. A few nods. Then Nick made his way toward the door. He met Poe’s eyes again and nodded slightly, pursing his lips. Poe nodded back.

Then he was gone.

Finn met Poe behind the counter; Poe searched him for a moment before speaking.

“How did it go?”

“It was good,” Finn said, an introspective look on his face. “I’m glad we talked. I think we’re gonna be okay.”

Poe nodded slowly. “So you’re— I mean, I know it’s none of my business, but are you—”

Finn smiled. Shook his head. “We’re going to try being friends again. Not right away, but we’ll try it when we’ve had some distance. And I told him to call me if he ever needs to talk to someone.”

“That’s great,” Poe said, visibly relieved. He paused. “I mean it’s great that you’re gonna be friends, not that— that you aren’t getting back together.”

“Uh huh,” Finn droned with a grin, picking up a rag and going to wipe the counters out of habit. “Sure, Poe.”

Poe shook his head. “Those counters won’t need to be cleaned for about twelve years, trust me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does it create a plot hole to mention _When Harry Met Sally _in a star wars fic because Carrie Fisher is one of the main actors in both? Absolutely and we're going to ignore it we're not gonna talk about it__
> 
> __Alright, kiddos, I wasn't sure if I was gonna write smut for this story, so I didn't include it in the tags. But guess what: I wrote smut for this story. It's in the next chapter. I've added it to the tags and I'll make the tags more specific after it comes out._ _
> 
> __I really love this story and I'm gonna be extremely bummed when it's over, but I really like writing and I write a lot. So I'll be coming out with more finnpoe stuff without a doubt._ _
> 
> __I've appreciated your comments so fucking much and I honestly love you guys. You've really been vibing with everything I'm trying to say and it's super fulfilling. If you want, leave a comment on this little fella._ _
> 
> __Thank you._ _


	15. as soon as possible

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sex! Smut! Not safe for work, bud!

_Happy new year, boss_

Poe pressed send with a smile, returning his attention to his favorite episode of _The Twilight Zone,_ which was _A Stop at Willoughby._ He’d found that he had related quite a bit more to it when he was still at the dealership than he did now, which was a good thing. He’d found his Willoughby, and he hadn’t even needed to board a train for it.

He was wearing his favorite sweatshirt, which was a thrift store gem decorated with an oversized Mt. Rushmore and, in block letters, _Sturgis Motorcycle Rally 1985._ He was also wearing his favorite boxers, which were decorated with planets. He was sitting cross-legged, hugging a soft pillow to himself and burying his face in the faux fur. His coffee table was covered in candy wrappers and disposable dinner plates. As far as New Years went, this one was almost perfect.

He glanced down at his phone; no text from Finn. He was probably enraptured with Harry’s speech, which should be happening… right about now. Poe smiled at the thought of it. What a perfect way to start the new year.

After a few more minutes, he’d started to think Finn had fallen asleep, and he couldn’t help but ache at the idea of Finn falling asleep in his arms. It would be nice for that to happen one day.

In any case, his text would be nice for Finn to wake up to in the morning. He blushed when he noticed that he was still smiling. Just the thought of Finn was enough to make him smile.

He was so lucky.

At the end of the episode, he popped another M&M into his mouth and chewed it slowly, stifling a yawn.

Thank God they were closed tomorrow.

He got up to use the bathroom, purposely avoiding a glance into the kitchen at the mess he’d made. That could wait for the morning.

As he was drying his hands, he heard an insistent knock at his door. He knit his eyebrows and slowly exited the bathroom, avoiding the creaky floorboards as he made his way to the door. He stared at it, motionless, and cursed his landlord for not installing a peep hole.

The knock came again. Poe jumped.

A muffled voice on the other side. “Poe.”

His frown deepened and he opened the door to reveal Finn, wearing a breathless expression and no coat.

“Finn? Is everything okay?”

“I just… I just wanted to see you,” Finn breathed. A smile graced his lips. The look in his eyes made Poe’s chest feel light.

Poe knit his eyebrows and smiled. “You wanna come inside?”

Finn nodded and Poe stepped back to let him in, closing the door gently.

There was a beat.

“Happy new year,” Finn said.

“And also with you,” Poe replied, tilting his head. “Did you come all this way to reply to my text?”

“Oh,” Finn murmured, searching his clothes briefly even though he was wearing sweatpants with no pockets. “I must have forgotten my phone at my house. Did you text me?”

“Yeah. Y’know. Standard ‘happy new year’ stuff.”

Finn nodded absently. He glanced around Poe’s apartment. “It smells good in here.”

“Thank you,” Poe said, watching him. “Finn, why did you want to see me?”

“Um,” Finn said, shifting his weight. “I just wanted to— can I try something?”

Poe nodded.

Finn stepped closer. “I just... I need to see…” Finn trailed off. His hand drifted to Poe’s cheek.

A look of determined concentration had overtaken Finn’s features. As he drew closer, his eyes fixed on Poe’s mouth.

Poe’s breath hitched. “Are you sure you…” He trailed off and swallowed. His eyes fluttered shut, almost in resignation.

Finn’s lips were soft on his own, even softer than he’d imagined they’d be. Testing, timid. Poe mirrored him, not wanting to rush, not wanting to ruin it.

Waiting.

He carefully placed his hands on Finn’s waist, barely touching. Kept his breath steady and calm. It took everything in him not to glide his tongue along Finn’s lips, taste him, bring him closer. He was sure his heart was going to escape his chest.

Finn leaned back to look at him, hand still resting on his cheek; Poe chased his lips a few inches and blinked.

They just looked at each other for a moment. Poe wet his lips absentmindedly.

“That’s why you came?” he whispered. A short-lived smile danced across his face for a moment and fizzled out; he was left staring at Finn’s mouth hungrily, not daring to move.

Finn’s eyes flicked down. He brought Poe closer again. This time, Poe could feel Finn’s warm breath on his lips before they met. His hand slid to the back of Finn’s neck and he dipped his thumb into his hair, eventually working up the courage to run his fingers through the soft coils. Finn hesitated a moment, then Poe felt his tongue slide over his lips.

He stilled and let out a shaky breath, then hurriedly nudged Finn’s mouth open with his lower lip and deepened the kiss. There was the slightest taste of mint and chocolate on Finn’s tongue and it made him smile. Finn gently tugged Poe’s hips closer and rested his hands on his waist, and Poe made a quiet noise in the back of his throat.

Finn breathed against him for a moment, eyes squeezed shut. “I’m really tired of not being with you, Poe.”

Poe pressed their foreheads together, closing his eyes too. “I’m with you, Finn, I’m right here.”

Finn focused on him. “I don’t want to wait anymore. I want you right now. Not like— well, yeah. I want you.” Poe’s heart thudded. “But I also— I also just want you beside me. Because you’re my person. And I’m ready for that. I’m ready for you.”

Poe carded his fingers through Finn’s hair again. His eyes stung. All he could do was nod and hope Finn understood everything he wanted to say.

Finn kissed him again and Poe immediately deepened it, craving that taste of chocolate and mint. His hands went back to Finn’s waist, this time gripping him firmly, dipping under the hem of his shirt. The feeling of touching Finn’s skin made his stomach flip and he broke the kiss, lips dragging along Finn’s jaw. He pressed the softest kiss against Finn’s pulse point, then grazed his teeth over the spot. Finn took in a breath and gave the slightest, almost subconscious, nod. Poe grazed the spot again and swirled his tongue over it, making his way slowly down to Finn’s collarbone. He could feel Finn’s fingers trace along the back of his neck and he bit down harder than he’d meant to. Finn’s grip on him tightened.

“Shit, sorry,” he whispered. 

Finn brought Poe back up to him, tongues dancing around each other before he took Poe’s lower lip between his teeth. Poe’s breath quickened.

Finn gripped his hips and pushed him backwards until he was flush against the wall.

Poe couldn’t help it; a soft moan escaped from the back of his throat.

Immediately, Finn’s actions became more frantic.

Poe felt Finn’s fingers graze his stomach as he took off his sweatshirt. His hair was mussed and Finn ran a hand through it, either to smooth it or to mess it up more— Poe couldn’t tell. He also couldn’t bring himself to care.

Finn tugged him by the hair and exposed more of his neck. Poe swallowed thickly; his Adam’s apple bobbed, catching Finn’s attention, and Finn pressed a kiss there before moving down to the crook of his neck, the place he’d been so desperate to kiss for so long. Poe’s fingernails trailed over his shoulder blades and Finn shivered, finally pressing his lips to the soft skin. He began to nip and suck and swirl, hands wandering slowly over Poe’s skin; his shoulders, his ribs, his waist, the small of his back.

“You’re so warm,” he mumbled. “You’re always so warm.”

Poe’s eyelids fluttered and he bit his lip.

“I can’t believe it took me this long to do this,” Finn continued, breath hot on Poe’s neck. “The fuckin’ self restraint.” His hips settled against Poe’s. Poe let out a shaky breath.

“Why tonight?”

Finn’s breath tickled. “When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible,” he quoted in a murmur.

Poe’s heart felt like it would burst.

“I’m so glad there was a thunderstorm that day,” he said, a slight quiver in his voice. “I’m so glad I met you.” He hissed as Finn grazed a fingernail over his nipple, then reached for the hem of Finn’s shirt, dragging it off of him. Their lips met again as soon as the fabric was out of the way. Poe nibbled on Finn’s lip, then broke the kiss, taking a moment to just admire the man in front of him, the sheen of moonlight on his skin, the shine of his hair. He spotted a small divot on Finn’s chest and his hand drifted up to it, touching it softly with his thumb. Then he trailed the thumb down his stomach lightly; the tickling soft touch made Finn’s stomach muscles twitch and his eyelids flutter.

Poe wrapped his arms around Finn’s waist, hugging him close and nestling his face into his shoulder, beginning to lead them to his bedroom. As he walked, he bit and sucked on Finn’s skin. He could hear Finn chuckle but Finn’s grip on his shoulders was like a vice as Poe’s ministrations intensified.

Their lips met again as they tumbled onto the bed; Finn scooted across the mattress and Poe crawled on his knees above him, not breaking apart for anything. Finn settled against Poe’s pillow and his hands dragged down to the small of Poe’s back. Poe shivered into the kiss.

Finn’s fingers trailed along his waist until they were dipping into his planetary boxers and Poe bit Finn’s lip involuntarily, not even bothering to apologize this time, because Finn moaned into his mouth. The sound made Poe’s boxers feel tighter.

Finn’s frantic fingers dipped into his boxers again, this time teasing deeper, and Poe broke the kiss to steady his own breath.

“God, it’s like I’m fuckin’ fourteen,” he muttered, eyes closed. He chuckled as Finn kissed him deeply again. “You’re not helping,” he laughed, and Finn joined him, their noses pressing together.

One of Finn’s hands was tangling in Poe’s hair, tugging lightly as their mouths moved against each other, and the other traced over the soft fabric on Poe’s thigh. Even the indirect contact made him twitch.

He flipped them over so that Finn was straddling him, then pulled Finn back down so he could taste him again. Finn ground down on him and Poe’s tongue spasmed in Finn’s mouth.

He pressed hard into Finn’s hip bones with his thumbs, prompting Finn to grind down again; he could feel Finn hardening against him.

Finn was panting slightly, breath hot on Poe’s lips, eyes lidded. He kissed down Poe’s neck, fingernail grazing Poe’s nipple again, eliciting a soft moan. He mouthed over his collarbone, over his chest, until he had a nipple between his teeth.

“Fuck— Finn, f-fuck,” Poe hissed. 

Finn continued, swirling his tongue over the hardened bud and nipping it again, lightly pinching and twisting the other one between the pads of his thumb and forefinger. He slotted his leg between Poe’s thighs and Poe’s stomach muscles contracted as if he were trying to sit up; Finn held his shoulders down. He left a bite mark on Poe’s chest before pressing a slow, deliberate trail of kisses down the middle of Poe’s stomach. He stroked Poe lightly through his boxers and Poe let out a string of curses, staring desperately at the ceiling as he tried to take deep breaths.

Finn watched him for a moment, still trailing his fingers over the length of Poe’s cock. “I feel like you’re trying to be quiet or something,” he murmured. “Like you’re holding yourself back for some reason.”

“I don’t want to…” Poe took another deep breath as Finn’s strokes gathered speed. “I don’t want to— _fuck—_ do something you don’t like,” he managed. “I— I— I’m trying not to ruin anything. _Shit,_ Finn. _Jesus.”_

Finn reached into the waistband and finally wrapped his fingers around Poe’s length. Poe swore quietly again. “I don’t want us to start off holding back from each other,” Finn whispered. “I want it to be like our guitar lessons.” He glided his thumb gently over Poe’s tip and Poe squeezed his eyes shut.

“You want me to sing?” he joked weakly.

Finn smiled. “I want you to do what you want,” he said. “I want you to make whatever noises you want, as loud as you want. If that means singing…” Finn shrugged. Swiped his thumb over Poe’s tip again, slightly harder this time.

Poe yelped.

Finn’s cock twitched and he dragged Poe’s boxers off of him, immediately sliding the tip into his mouth and swirling his tongue over the slit. His lips made a seal and he gripped the base.

“FUCK! Finn,” Poe begged, gasping for air as Finn began to lower his head, taking him deeper into his mouth.

Finn hummed around him, sliding his hands roughly up Poe’s torso and dragging his nails back down. Poe groaned loudly.

“Finn, it’s— you— I love you so fucking much,” he babbled. “I love you.”

Finn rose off him with a _pop._ “I love you too,” he said quietly. “I think I fell in love with you when I heard you sing.” He went back down and licked Poe’s slit roughly with the flat of his tongue.

Poe whimpered.

“Finn,” he said softly.

“Mm,” Finn hummed.

“I need you. I—” Poe sat up and brought Finn’s swollen lips back to his. He could taste himself on Finn’s tongue. “I need you.” He met Finn’s eyes desperately.

Finn nodded. Poe’s shaking hands found the waistband of Finn’s sweatpants and started to drag them down; Finn noticed the quake in his fingers and gently helped him along, discarding his pants and boxers on the messy floor.

Poe reached for his side drawer and took out a small square packet and a bottle of lube. He gave them both to Finn, hands still too shaky to open either of them.

Finn tore the condom packet easily, watching him with knit eyebrows. “Poe, are you okay?”

Poe nodded, running a quivering hand through his own curly hair. “I just… I think this is the happiest I’ve ever been,” he explained quietly. “And I don’t think my body really knows what to do with that.” A tear rolled down his cheek. Finn wiped it away with his thumb. Poe caught his hand as it was retreating and pressed his lips gently into Finn’s palm. His eyes drifted closed.

Finn’s throat felt tight as he observed him. “I’m so lucky,” he said, voice fading out. He cleared his throat.

Poe looked up at him, running his thumb over the back of Finn’s hand. A smile, pure and sweet, crossed his lips. “I’m ready when you are.”

Finn brought their lips together again and groaned as Poe’s tongue dominated his mouth. He popped open the bottle and squirted a generous amount onto his fingers, reaching down to Poe’s entrance and stroking it lightly with his index finger. Poe settled into the mattress and looked at Finn with lidded eyes; the sight made Finn’s breath catch. He dipped a finger inside and Poe let out a quiet groan of anticipation.

Slowly, he slid his finger further in until it was buried, then he started a gentle rhythm until it was time to add another, and then another.

After a few minutes with three fingers, Poe was unraveling.

“You ready, Dameron?”

Poe focused on him and nodded, immediately closing his eyes again and continuing to rock against Finn’s hand.

Finn pumped himself gently a few times and rolled the condom on, lining himself up. Poe’s legs wrapped around his waist and brought him closer; his tip slid in on accident and Finn moaned, pushing in deeper without thinking. His elbow rested next to Poe’s head and he reached for his curls, tugging on them firmly. Poe hissed and helped him in further, rocking his hips.

When he was sheathed inside him, Finn kissed him roughly, grip tightening on Poe’s hair. Poe bit his lip again and Finn breathed hard against his mouth, a deep sound emanating from his throat.

“Go,” Poe encouraged. “You can start.”

Finn pulled back and thrusted hard, moaning loudly. Poe swore.

“Is that okay?” Finn mumbled, and Poe nodded.

“Keep going.”

Poe’s hips met his with each thrust. Finn flipped them over so that he was sitting up against the headboard and Poe was sitting in his lap, straddling him. Poe reached for the headboard and raised himself up until he was almost empty, then slid smoothly back down.

“Fuck, Poe,” Finn sighed, fingernails dragging down Poe’s shoulderblades. “You’re so beautiful.”

Poe’s breath hitched and he rose up again.

“You feel— you feel so good,” Finn wavered as Poe took him in again. “You’re everything— I want,” he mustered.

Poe kissed him hard, quickening his pace. Finn gripped his hips.

“You’re so fuckin’ good at that,” Finn breathed, and Poe bit his lip at the compliment. His breath was starting to get erratic as he worked himself on Finn’s dick and he changed his angle slightly, concentrating, testing, until he felt that lightning strike. That place he could never reach himself.

His head fell against Finn’s shoulder and he tangled his hands in Finn’s hair, his moans echoing off the walls. Finn’s muscles twitched and he reached for Poe’s dick again, pumping it in time with Poe’s rises and falls.

“Finn, fuck, fuck,” Poe whispered, eyes tightly shut. He yelped as Finn swiped a bead of precum and worked it over his length.

Poe steadied and rose off of him, laying down on the mattress again and pulling Finn on top of him, immediately wrapping his legs around Finn’s waist again. Finn positioned himself to try and replicate Poe’s angle from before and thrusted in all the way to the hilt. It wasn’t exactly right; he adjusted and pushed in again. Poe swore and reared up slightly, biting hard on Finn’s shoulder.

Finn was consistent; almost every thrust hit the exact right spot. Poe had completely forgotten any reservations he’d had about noise, but he quieted down as Finn continued, almost in awe of what he was feeling. His quiet gasps and breaths and soft moans were almost too much for Finn to handle.

Finn’s thrusts were getting sloppy and Poe steadied him with his legs. It worked pretty well until Finn reached down and started to pump him again; within seconds, Poe was just as gone as he was.

Poe’s face contorted silently and Finn kept thrusting. He could feel Poe tightening around him. Finally, Poe let out the loudest moan yet, almost a yell, and frantically rocked against Finn’s hips. Finn felt him pulse around his length, felt the warm, wet drops of cum meet his stomach, and then felt his own orgasm hit him, his entire body shuddering. He buried his face in the crook of Poe’s neck, thrusts growing weaker, until finally he collapsed onto his chest, Poe’s cum wet between their stomachs.

After they’d come down, he rolled off him slowly. Poe gently slid the condom off of Finn, who let out a shaky sigh at the contact, and tossed it into the bin. Poe reached into his drawer again and took out a few wet wipes, cleaning himself and then Finn. 

Finn was watching him with a smile. Poe caught him and grinned. “You always gotta be prepared,” he said. He tossed the wipes away and brought Finn closer to him.

Finn rested his head on Poe’s chest and closed his eyes. “I’m so glad we’re closed tomorrow,” he murmured.

Poe nodded slowly, looking at the ceiling. “I’m so glad I’m not an accountant,” he replied.

Finn raised his head slightly to smile at him. “Me too.”

“If it weren’t for that storm, I still would be,” Poe mused, a strange look in his eye.

Finn shook his head, resting back on Poe’s chest. “I think we would have found our way to each other, one way or another.”

Poe looked down at him. It was quiet for a while.

Finn felt a soft rumble come from Poe’s chest. The vibration was so relaxing, it almost put him to sleep and he nearly missed the sound of Poe singing quietly.

A tune he recognized instantly.

‘Sunrise’ by Norah Jones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you liked this one.
> 
> If you feel so inclined, leave a comment and let me know what you thought.


	16. the last one

Poe ducked out of the cold and shrugged off his rain jacket; it dripped onto the mat and he gave it an extra jiggle before he stepped further inside, breathing in the snug, sweet air. He glanced down at his guitar case and hastily wiped it off with his sleeve.

The cafe was small, almost stuffy, with small lamps scattered around the blonde wood tables, casting a warm light over the place. The walls were each a different color: plum purple, brick red, banana yellow, creamy chartreuse. The chairs looked old but cozy. Used but clean. Every table was packed with patrons, the murmur of the crowd acting as white noise while Finn set up the microphones. A few people noticed Poe walk in and nudged their friends, pointing subtly at him as he broke into a grin, oblivious to the attention, and made his way over to Finn, giving him a quick hug and a peck on the cheek.

“I’m sorry I’m late, my lesson ran a little long,” he said, speaking quietly in front of the crowd and adjusting his grip on the guitar case.

Finn smiled softly. “No problem. Oh— Paige went home with a fever, and she’s supposed to open tomorrow,” he tried, taking Poe’s free hand in his and giving it a little massage.

Poe looked at him knowingly. “You want me to cover?” He chuckled at Finn’s too-wide grin and shook his head slightly, eyes flicking almost imperceptibly to Finn’s lips. “Who else is working?”

“Your roommate,” Finn said, smoothing his thumb over the back of Poe’s hand.

Poe’s cheeks tinted as he watched their hands, eyes twinkling. “My roommate whose turn it is to do the dishes?” he asked.

Finn rolled his eyes. “I’ll do them, I promise,” he said. “And I’ll pay you a dollar more per hour. And I’ll cook dinner.”

Poe laughed. “I don’t get paid by the hour, you dick,” he said, squeezing Finn’s hand. “But I s’pose I can open tomorrow. Just for you, Finny.”

Finn grinned. “I like you, Dameron, you’re gonna go places in this business.”

***

The crowd was quiet, listening in rapture to the man on stage while a small basket packed with money was passed around. Finn watched him from the back of the room with a smile on his face. Behind the espresso bar, the two baristas on duty leaned against the counter, enjoying the lull in orders that usually came when Poe performed. Even the other musicians standing by, some of whom Poe had taught himself, were watching him intently, as if they were studying for a test.

“Alright, I got one more song for you,” Poe murmured into the mic. He caught Finn’s eye and smiled. “And I’m gonna do something none of you were expecting,” he said, making the returning patrons in the crowd chuckle, “and dedicate this one to my partner, Finn. Because he’s a pretty chill guy. And he’s also the reason I’m up here.” He strummed a chord on his guitar and paused. “And then I’m gonna go home and cook dinner.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this. I loved writing it and I hope you loved reading it. It's been such a wonderful experience connecting with you all. And I've loved your comments so much. I go back and read them all the time. They make me feel so snuggly inside.
> 
> And even if ya find this fic many years in the future, drop a comment if ya want.


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